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This type of affair is characterized by two individuals
who believe they are "in love". With this type, the betrayer
believes that he or she has fallen in love, and feels powerless
over powerful emotions. It is not uncommon for the betrayer to feel
guilty over what they are doing, but at the same time they are no
longer in love with their spouse and know that they will never be
happy unless they are with their lover. This type of relationship
frequently develops from an existing friendship that begins to deepen
as the boundaries between the two individuals weaken.

It is not necessarily based on sex. In fact, the power
driving the relationship is the strong emotions generated by the
growing romance. In this type of affair, the betrayer has most likely
made the decision to leave their marriage. They realize that they
can never be happy unless they get to be with the one they love.

Unlike the Low Rent Rendezvous, this type of affair often
indicates a deeper problem in the marriage. Let me be clear - the
marital problem is not the cause of the affair, but there are defects
that at the very least, serve as inhibitors to the betrayer's motivations
to consider working on the marriage. While this description may
cause you to believe the situation is hopeless, please know that
it is not. There are many couples that have recovered, and in fact,
will report that they are grateful that they were able to reconcile.
If you are in this category don't lose hope! God is able even in
this situation to bring new life.

Characteristics:

• The betrayer wants out of the marriage.
• They are in love with their affair partner, and are
  willing to sacrifice life as they know it for the opportunity
  to be with their lover.
• Typically, this type of affair is a long-term relationship
  that has developed into a romance.
• Frequently, there is a pattern of the betrayer swinging
  back and forth between the marriage and the affair partner. When
  they are at home trying to do what is right, they are miserable
  and feel they will never be happy. When they are with their affair
  partner, they are ecstatic, but may be feeling so guilty that
  they can't stand it so they move back home only to feel miserable
  and to realize once again that they can never be happy unless
  they go back to the affair partner. This dance of insanity can
  continue for years.
• The betrayer often seems incapable of making a decision
  as to what they are going to do. Even though the betrayer doesn't
  want to be in the marriage, other factors may keep them from choosing
  to divorce. For example, feelings of guilt or of failure may cause
  them to stay. There may also be strong feelings regarding what
  is best for the kids, so they may decide to stay for the children.
  A lack of committment to the marriage, but choosing not to leave,
  is not the solution to a country club affair.