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If you could have the marriage you’ve always wanted, why would you settle for an empty, lonely room? If you could find new love and respect for your mate, why would you interrupt the lives of your children and those of your family? Divorce sucks and infidelity can be cured. It’s not as hopeless as you think.

Betrayal in your relationship can leave you feeling like you’re living in a nightmare. You’re confused and trust is non-existent. You just want to wake up to discover it’s just a bad dream. For most, it feels like their mate doesn’t get it, or doesn't want to believe them. You may have trouble agreeing on what needs to be done.

If you’re the unfaithful, do you answer all their questions? Could they ever forgive you? You may wonder how you even got here in the first place. If you stay in this marriage is this going to be used against you for the rest of your life? Does this define you?

If you’re the hurt spouse, how much information do you need to know? How can you ever feel safe again? Why would you even want to be in this relationship after all of this? Most importantly, how do you move forward? How do you stop the revolting reminders that intrude on your thoughts? Who can you talk to? How do you find support?

The Emergency Marital Seminar (EMS) answers your questions, but more importantly it provides viable solutions to your crisis. Reading a book and getting head knowledge is helpful, but a book can’t come along beside you and help walk you through the steps of change.

If your response to the infidelity is typical, then you have already experienced many of the challenges associated with working through a betrayal. The EMS weekend will help you gain perspective of where you’re at in recovery and what needs to be done.

The program is particularly helpful for couples:

• Who are gridlocked over their need to move forward.
• Where the unfaithful mate is having difficulty breaking away from the affair partner.
• Where the hurt spouse is having difficulty believing their mate.
• Where the infidelity was in the past, but the couple has never been able to move on.

Why this program and not another?

There are some great workshops available for couples working through infidelity and I’d highly recommend checking them out.

But if you’ve ever participated in a weekend intensive, you’ve already learned that a well organized event, along with a solid approach to helping you improve your marriage, will result in you leaving the workshop feeling more hopeful and encouraged about your relationship. But will you or your mate be able to maintain that new attitude or implement those new behaviors? Will you stay the course of change or go back to lives of quiet despair and isolation?

I bet you’ve already learned that the more things change, the more they stay the same. How many times have you tried to change a behavior only to find that you revert back to an old way of being? Or, how many times has your mate said they’ll change, but over time they slip back to the old painful behaviors?

Research shows that new behaviors have to be maintained for at least 18 months before they begin to be the natural response. Failure to establish systems capable of holding these new behaviors in place increases the probability of old destructive patterns returning.

The EMS follow-up program provides both support and guidance for at least a year after you attend your weekend. You will continue to meet with your group weekly, by phone, and work at sustaining new behaviors as well as implementing the new techniques being taught in your weekly lessons.

You’ll find the EMS aftercare program to be the most important component in assuring that the two of you stay on track with your healing journey.

What have others said about the weekend?

I hope you’ll read these. They’ll give you a good sense as to whether it was worth it for those who attended this recent EMS.

Why is it so expensive?

The cost is relative. Expensive compared to what? For most, it’s cheaper than three months of child support. It’s cheaper than a new transmission for your car and you wouldn’t hesitate to do what’s necessary to keep the car running.

Maybe what makes it feel expensive is the fact that you’re not sure you even want the relationship. The thought of staying with your current situation is so painful that it seems unappealing to pay money for something that might result in your staying in a painful situation. Or, maybe you already feel hopeless and it seems that attending the weekend would be a waste of good money.

In reality, this is the most economical program available because your fee isn’t just for the weekend, it also includes access to the after care support program. You’re not just paying for a three day workshop, but also for a program which greatly increases the probability of you and your mate sustaining new positive changes and of avoiding relapse.

Where is the EMS intensive located?

If you’re like Stephanie and me, the last thing we wanted was to broadcast our situation. What we needed was a quiet retreat away from the chaos of life.

The EMS weekend is held in a country home providing isolated tranquility.

You don’t have to worry about bumping into others who might not be associated with the weekend and you’ve got the freedom to walk on the surrounding trails to gather your thoughts.

The Agenda:

The first portion of the weekend is spent in understanding the what’s and how’s of your particular situation.

Next, you’ll focus on calming the emotional firestorm the two of you have experienced.

Then you’ll move toward developing empathy and understanding.

The ins and outs of forgiveness will be explored so that you both can understand what that might eventually look like.

We then cover the dreaded topic of relapse prevention as a way of maintaining new behaviors.

And finally, we discuss the topic of marriage and what could be.

But, this is only the beginning. We save the topic of marriage until last since the next 12 months will be spent working with your group on techniques for building and strengthening your relationship.

The schedule:

EMS begins Friday morning at 8:30 a.m. and ends at 4:00 p.m. Sunday afternoon.

Friday: 8:30 a.m. - 6:30 p.m.
Saturday: 8:30 a.m. – 7:00 p.m.
Sunday: 8:30 a.m. – 4:00 p.m.

All meals are included.

Cost: $1950 ($500 deposit required at registration, remainder can be paid in full or with a payment plan)

See the EMS FAQ

See what others have said about EMS

Future 2010 EMS dates:
September 10-12, 2010
October 8-10, 2010
November 12-14, 2010
December 10-12, 2010

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