Did you learn anything about yourself in first grade? I sure did. I remember the first day of school when my dad dropped me off on his way to work. I had only been in the building one time, so dad's faith in me was apparent. I walked to the main door and stood eagerly anticipating what? I wasn't sure, but all the other kids were waiting, so I knew that was the first step. You wait for God only knows what, but nevertheless, you wait.

Then it happened, the bell rang and the double doors swung wide, welcoming the classes of '67 – '72. At the moment, it all seemed like a lot of fun. As a six year old boy who had never been in school, I had no idea what to expect and thankfully there was nothing to do. I was simply swept into the halls by the wave of returning students. The adventure had begun and I had officially entered my next phase of life. It was the beginning of a grand adventure. The only problem was the fact that I was clueless as to the location of my new class.

Maybe this tells you a little bit about me, but honestly that reality didn't bother me in the least. I just set out trying to find the right room. I went up and down the halls peering into each room looking to see if I belonged. Today, I have no idea what I was looking for, but I was darn sure I'd know it when I saw it. Eventually, a kind teacher noticed my third trip past her door and asked if I needed help, to which I promptly responded "NO". I just knew I'd work it out.

Thankfully, she ignored my falsely placed confidence and intervened helping me find the right class. But if it hadn't been for that kind soul, I might still be wandering those halls to this day. Thank God there was someone who knew more than me.

Sadly, if you've been in a marriage rocked by infidelity, you might be a lot like me. To begin, you were probably going through life minding your own business when this train wreck happened and involuntarily swept you into a strange and frightening reality. Like me, you've probably wandered the halls of the Internet looking for the right spot, hoping to find the place where you belong. Like me, the next phase of your life is just beginning and you may not even know the rules of the game, much less the location of your class.

Our heart's desire is to provide the same help that "good soul" provided as I began my journey into the first grade. In hindsight, I realize there was no reason for me or my dear wife to be anything but clueless. How were we to know what to do or where to go? It was a totally new situation for Stephanie and me. And I bet it's the same for you. Unless you've been wounded before, how in the world would you even begin to know what to do? You probably never took classes on "The Eight Responses to Infidelity" or "Infidelity Resources for Dummies", which is why we developed the Affair Recovery Center and the new Harboring Hope course.

For Stephanie and me, there were few resources available. Poor Stephanie almost died of embarrassment when she went to the bookstore looking for resources. Who wants to go up to the person at the counter and ask what they've got available for the wife of a man who just cheated on her. Maybe you haven't felt that way, but she sure did. Even worse, the few people who did know what had happened had no idea what they would do if they were in our situation. If you're going through this, you'll know what I'm talking about. Some of the advice given not only doesn't help, but it hurts (see our bad advice blog).

Our train wreck helped us discover the need for others who, like us, were navigating this difficult situation. We need others who care and understand. The new Harboring Hope course is designed to do just that. If you are interested in learning more, then go to http://www.harboringhope.com and join our community of healing. Also, take advantage of the free resources we've made available for the hurt spouse.

As we enter this holiday season, I hope you have the same good fortune to find what Stephanie and I eventually found - others who understand. If you're in the midst of the pain, you may see little for which to be thankful, but if you realize you're not alone and there are others who care, then you're blessed. If there is any way we can support you in finding others who understand, then we'd love to help.