I don’t know about you guys, but I’m really getting tired of all the Tiger news, although probably not for the same reason as most…

Angie had been involved in a string of affairs over a period of five years.Even though she got caught, she took full responsibility for what she had done. Brad was impressed with the fervor she displayed as she began to address her problems. She had done everything in her power to ease his pain and help him to heal.

Even though she got caught, she took full responsibility for what she had done. Brad was impressed with the fervor she displayed as she began to address her problems. She had done everything in her power to ease his pain and help him to heal.

The news of her betrayals hit Brad hard. He never suspected and in his mind everything had been fine. Initially, his response had been one of anger and an “I’m out of here” attitude. However, after the initial shock and pain began to subside, her soft, non-defensive attitude began to intrigue him and he decided to give it another chance.
Recovery was especially difficult for Brad due to his intense emotional reactions to triggers. For whatever reason, his ability to move beyond the pain seemed to take longer than most. When he flooded he was swept away by the pain and anger and would lose all desire to be with Angie. In fact, he’d become increasingly angry and hurtful with words and actions. Still, as time passed so did the pain, and Angie and Brad entered a new season for their marriage.

I thought I had seen the last of them until he got a “Tiger in his mind”.

We’re all unique in our reactions to traumatic events. Research indicates that the ability of the authority figures in our life to provide stability, support and understanding provides one of the best indicators of our ability to respond to trauma. For Brad, there was little childhood stability. His parents divorced at age eight, his mom went to work and he became a latch key kid. Even worse, he witnessed a brutal murder while in junior high school. Trauma was regular fare in his life, so I shouldn’t have been surprised at what happened next.

Individuals like Brad often develop Post Traumatic Stress Disorder  (PTSD) as a result of an affair. The PTSD doesn’t prevent them from moving beyond the affair, but it does make it more difficult to recover due to the continued emotional flooding.

Eventually, the emotions subside and they’re able to move forward with their lives. But, if the PTSD isn’t addressed, the trauma wound is always at risk of being reactivated. Once reactivated this person may well experience the full intensity of the emotion felt at the point of disclosure. At that point, the emotions can outweigh logic and history, and they can be swept away by feelings of pain and despair.

Such was the case for Brad. News story after news story of Tiger Woods' escapades reactivated the PTSD and he went back 26 months to the original emotions.

I wish he had been the only one, but that’s just not the case. I’ve seen couple after couple whose PTSD has been reactivated. That’s why this has been one of the most difficult Christmases ever.

To that end, I’m holding a webinar on December 29, to address questions relating to getting a Tiger in your mind. If you’d like to join our webinar, click the link below. Wouldn’t you like to know what to do to move beyond this pain?

http://www.AffairRecovery.com/taming-the-tiger-webinar-december-29

By registering you’ll receive much needed information about the seminar as well as more helps for dealing with the problems created by Tiger. I hope you’ll join us.
 
To healing,

Rick