Do you know the most significant obstacle to recovery?...
 
I’ll tell you in a moment, but first I want to tell you about my dad. He was a strong man who worked hard at providing for and taking care of his family, but now, after two strokes, things have changed and I now take care of him. Today, if I ask dad what he’s been up to, he tells me he’s worrying. According to him, that’s about all that’s left for him to do. But that’s not always been the case.
 
I don't know about you guys, but as a boy monsters lived under my bed and in my closet. Those pesky creatures scared me to death each time I had to go to bed. Initially, I avoided them by learning to jump far and high. I’d turn off the lights and leap into bed making sure my feet never touched the three-foot neutral zone surrounding my bed. I knew that one fatal slip would allow those hideous creatures to reach out, grab my leg and pull me kicking and screaming into their pungent lair that lay hidden beneath my bed.

Thankfully, I had discovered the key to safety. As long as I stayed hunkered under my magic covers they couldn’t reach me, but honestly, that solution had certain downsides. I still lived in fear, and besides, sometimes it got really hot under there.

Lucky for me, my dad saved the day. One night as I lay trapped on my bed crying desperately for some adult to come ferry me over the neutral zone (I had to go to the bathroom), my dad came to my rescue. He stormed the room armed with a magic cannon (strangely it looked a lot like a broom stick) and threw back the covers letting those monsters have it. Then he went to the closet, threw the door open, and mowed down every last one of those hideous creatures.  I know because he told me so. Then he gave me what I’d so desperately needed, the magic cannon. No longer did I have to lay in bed terrified of what those monsters might do to me, now I was empowered to defend myself. Even better, each night he’d come to my room helping me find the courage to look under that bed and conquer my fear.
 
Now, back to my initial question: “What’s the most significant obstacle to recovery?"

It's fear!!! The fear of failure, the fear of disappointment, the fear of humiliation, the fear of never being happy, even the fear of monsters.  If you're in the midst of dealing with this crisis, you know exactly what I'm talking about.

Fear has a way of making us frozen, but we don't have to be...

The best way to address fear is to stay in the moment. I believe God gives us all the grace we need to handle any situation, but he only gives us the grace we need when we need it. Just like I can't take a breath of air for later today, I won't receive the grace I need to handle a circumstance that has yet to occur.

Don't be paralyzed by the fear of something that has yet to happen, and may well never happen. I once heard that courage is when your desire to live is so strong that you don't care if you die. At that point, you're beyond fear, and you'll do what ever it takes to find life, even if you're afraid you're going to die.
 
Currently on the blog at www.911marriageonline.com, real people just like you have been writing about their most difficult marital issue since the discovery of infidelity. As you read their stories you can understand the fear. I've done my best to respond and give encouragement. You could do the same. If you get a chance, please take the time to read what others have said and to encourage those looking for help.

 To read the entries go to...
http://www.911marriageonline.com/win-911marriage
Not only will you be touched, but also you'll understand that you're not alone.
 
To say the least, recovery is hard, and at times leaves us scared to death. We need others who are older and wiser who can join us and stand with us as we look under the bed and into the closet to find what’s there.


The best way to move forward is to have the courage to look and understand. 911 Marriage provides a safe way to do just that. The course provides a path that helps you face the fears and find what's really hiding under that bed. Do you want to hide under the covers for the rest of your life?

To help you learn more about the course, I've posted two video examples and a case study for 911 Marriage. One video is a homework example for the hurt spouse and the other for the unfaithful spouse.  If you're the hurt
spouse, please don't watch the video for the unfaithful mate, and if you're the unfaithful mate, please don't watch the video for the hurt spouse.  To do so would be a bit like reading someone else's mail (911 Marriage has two workbooks with different assignments and I can't post one without posting the other, so don't cheat).

For the "Hurt Spouse" video go to
http://www.911MarriageOnline.com/real-people#hurt
For the "Unfaithful Spouse" video go to
http://www.911MarriageOnline.com/real-people#unfaithful

Also, I've attached a case study of a couple whose marriage was failing when they took the course last summer.  They share how the course helped them discover a way to work through their problems.

To listen to their story go to
http://www.911MarriageOnline.com/real-people

The 911 Marriage course will open for enrollment Thursday, March 18th at 12:00 noon CST. There are limited spaces available so if you or anyone you know needs help, please send them this link.

Don't keep living in fear. Find new life.