Anyone under the weight of recent infidelity or addiction can relate to the words of Jesus, when He uttered in John 12, ......" 27 "My soul has become troubled; and what shall I say, `Father, save Me from this hour'? But for this purpose I came to this hour. 28 "Father, glorify Your name."

Infidelity will do more than just trouble our families, and our souls. Yet the word 'troubled' here is more aptly translated "exceedingly sorrowful."

Personally, my infidelity has caused me (and so many others) more sorrow than anything I have ever experienced in my entire life. My father died a gruesome death to cancer, and my step dad was lost to leukemia. But the paralyzing sorrow associated with the struggle to preserve my family, has been unimaginable to describe to anyone other than those who have personally been through the same thing.

Since my own fall, I have certainly seen a few 'hours' that Jesus is describing, and definitely asked to be saved from them.

These hours of crisis are usually followed with questions like "why" and "how" and "how could this have been prevented" and "what went wrong," just to name a few. Even Jesus himself experienced incredible sorrow and pain at what He was encountering and what suffering lay before Him. I love the below scripture as it gives me strength to keep going in life, especially when I feel like a total failure and hopeless mess.

For we do not have a high priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but One who has been tempted in all things as we are, yet without sin. 16 Therefore let us draw near with confidence to the throne of grace, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need. Hebrews 4:15

The intriguing and completely liberating point of John 12, is the apparent relentlessness of Jesus, to realize the hour that was upon Him, yet courageously face it head on and not quit. I find such solace here, as in my situation, the hour was chosen for me, certainly not by me. I didn't choose to come forward on my own, but God used the whole situation to bring me into the light by His own design! And thank God for it!

I'm quite certain we all have our own hour that is upon each and every one of us, right now. It's so easy to find ourselves hating the particular 'hour' we are in, or at the very least, wanting to be saved from it prematurely. There are a variety of personal situations right now in which I know God has both allowed and designed for me to face head on. I hate almost every one of them. Yet I know they represent so much more than just my selfish anger at being inconvenienced by them. They are there for me to grow, develop and even embrace. The more that I run from them, the more power they have over me and the more they will ultimately lead me, rather than me leading them.

I firmly believe Jesus led His moment, and utilized it to bring about His Father's ultimate purpose for Him, and for us. Without this moment, so much would have been lost and so much would have been sacrificed, all for the sake of Jesus's own personal comfort. Yet He continued on; obeying the Father, and allowing Himself to be tortured, and crucified for you, and for me. Had He ran from the hour that was upon Him, all of history would have been changed.

Far be it from us to equate how poignant Jesus' moment was, with ours. But don't disregard the fact that our own 'hours' upon us now, are vital for the development, and ultimate restoration of our marriages and families. In our own significant way, the hour that is upon each and every one of us (and our spouses) will quite certainly define us for months, years, and possibly generations to come.

WHAT IS GOD SAYING TO YOU TODAY??? In recovery, I have found that we always have choices in how we respond and deal with our 'hours.' From revealing hidden details, to sharing our fears and insecurities, to choosing to live a completely and totally open life to our spouses; we have power in this process. Power to choose and follow through, or power to run and refuse to answer the call, or the questions. For those of you hurt spouses, it may be that you actually allow yourself to feel what you truly feel, and say (or even yell) what you feel and not worry about how your spouse will react to any of it. Know for certain though, there is a divine purpose to the hour that is upon you and your family. It may not seem like it with all the potential chaos surrounding your life, but God is always at work in His children. If we will respond in a manner that allows the Holy Spirit (along with professional assistance) to dig down deep into our lives, restoration is on its way. I can speak from personal experience, that I have asked to be saved from several 'hours,' only to find they were never mystically removed from my life. Somehow I knew that if I genuinely wanted to see my marriage restored, I had (and still have to) face them. I, like you, have had to allow the Lord to plumb the depths of my (and Jodi's) soul, all in attempt at saving our precious family and recreating a marriage that not only works, but flourishes. I believe Jesus models how we should handle these incredibly sorrowful and potentially crushing moments in life. If we will momentarily stop, take a breathe, and realize the significant of the moment we are in, we can then find strength and grace to make right decisions and move forward. It wasn't easy for Jesus, and it won't be easy for us. I can guarantee you that you won't do everything right. But we are not expected to. This moment was so poignant for Christ, we truly owe salvation to the it. I have realized that if it was truly easy, we wouldn't cry out to Him as much as we are forced to, and we would not value both the process and reward of a saved and redeemed relationship with God and with our spouses. As we owe salvation and so much more to this moment Jesus experienced, one day our children will owe so very much to our own moments of pain and sorrow; if we will gracefully face them head on, and handled them appropriately.

WE'RE HERE FOR YOU AND WE'RE PRAYING FOR YOU!!!