I have had the absolute worst kind of day. It would be a waste of space to take up so much room with all the drama I have encountered today. I'll simply focus on one thing: being done wrong. It was and is a business deal, and I feel taken advantage of like few times before. To say it's not personal is definitely not true, as I find it to be a personal issue when hard earned money is taken away from me, because things are difficult for someone else. I'll leave it at that, as we are in the public domain. :) You can tell I have not found peace on the situation just yet....

Lately I've referenced the wonderful but responsible concept of intentionality; facing situations or opportunities, implementing principles and strategies of recovery, on purpose. The older I get and more experienced I become in both life and recovery, the more it seems that almost every decision of importance necessitates having courage to see it through.

Jodi and I went to the movies tonight. As usual, I wanted to see the chase em, shoot em, hunt em down, keep you on the edge of your seat, thriller. Jodi wanted the exact opposite of that. She's usually a gamer on seeing action flicks, so tonight I caved and signed up for the proverbial "chick flick." It turned out to be a great movie with a totally out of the blue plot twist. As usual, most of you reading this will appreciate the great frustration of the movie having yet again, an issue of infidelity in it.

As I was trolling through the internet about the latest economic bail out plan, I found an article that prompted my interest. As I read through it, it was less than weighty in regard to a positive outlook. The main gist of the article was, will the bail out work?

When we enter into recovery, one of the main questions arising from it's very inception is, will this work? Will we be able to recover? Is sobriety (in its pure and broad sweeping form) a reality for us, or him, or her?

The last couple weeks have been all but paralyzing for our country. I wish I could say that my own life was immune to the trauma, yet that is certainly not the case. I also wish that my prayer life was inspired by diligence and raw desire for intimacy with the Lord. More often than not, it's as if both the world around me and IN ME, compel me to prayer, with hopes of moving from merely enduring life, to eventually overcoming.

Does this ever happen to you....you open the bible, and within literally 10 or 12 seconds, it was as if the Lord just hit you square in the face with what you absolutely didn't want to hear, but so needed to? Today was my day, for that day. This scripture below was a right hook across my face, heart, and soul, and I'm so truly glad this punch got through.

Hebrews 2:1
Therefore we must give the more earnest heed to the things we have heard,
lest we drift away.

Often times in the recovery process both personal and marital, there are moments when it seems all hell has broken loose, and we can confusingly feel hopeless and helpless. For those of you that can relate, it's usually then that we rise up in our own strength, fueled by conviction, soul-power, passion, determination (and maybe a whole lot of caffeine), all in an effort to try and salvage our marriage or personal sobriety.

Let's face it, the effects of adultery and addiction upon a marriage, can be both debilitating and disheartening. Most, if not all of you would probably agree and add that those words used, put it lightly, when you consider the pain involved with broken marital trust. It becomes even more agonizing when one spouse is attempting to see the marriage restored, salvaged, and redeemed, yet the other is completely unsure of their intention.

Choices have consequences. Prominent author John Maxwell wrote "Our decisions determine our Destiny." Any spouse in the middle of a marriage wrecked by infidelity or addiction, can attest to the "Consequential Reality," that we may painfully wake up to everyday.

Just last week, was three years to the day, of our own personal "D-Day." For those of you who may not know the web site-lingo yet, the proverbial "D-Day" is the day that I, the betrayer, had to come home and tell Jodi of my 2 year affair. It was one of the worst days of my life indeed. Surpassed only by the days my which father, step-father, and grandfather died. That's another blog on another day.