WARNING….this post has a specific “bend” or “slant” to it.  A bend in the direction of the unfaithful, and distinct concerns the unfaithful have.    I hope and pray it’s a great read for both sides.  I’ll try and not screw it up.  If it sucks, it’s certainly not The Lord's fault, and I know you know this. 

Just the other night, Jodi and I were on the couch talking.  Finally all the kids were in bed, and we had time to ourselves.   We were watching one of our favorite TV shows and she and I began to talk about a touchy subject (or two).  While keeping the nitty gritty out of it, she said something to me that gave me chills, in the greatest, most comforting of ways.  I guess you might say, in a way that said to me “she finally understands how that would make me feel when she said it..” 

Let me back up.  Very often, a while ago, Jodi had this canned response to something I would say to her.  She would say quite often and I hated it each and every time.  I wounded me.  It hurt me.  It angered me.  It sent me reeling in bitterness and resentment.  Yet, honestly, I know she had absolutely no clue whatsoever, the pain it would create and reinforce in my heart.  So in response to something sarcastic she said to me on the couch tonight, I then used her old line of response to her, in a very joking and cynical way.   I had never done it before, and it came out, completely out of nowhere. 

Her response to it was marriage altering:

She looked me right in the eye and very seriously, very keenly, said:  “IM SORRY FOR EVERY TIME I WOULD SAY THAT TO YOU!!!”  We then laughed and joked, and went back and forth using it in various situations, laughing and laughing till the joke was played out and exhausted. 

This did 3 things to me that was absolutely incredible.

1.       It showed me just how healed we are and continue to get, even 4 years post D Day.    

2.       It revealed just how much Jodi’s perspective has changed and how she can see things so differently, and from my side now.

3.       It ratified my hope, and so encouraged me to know that I too, wasn’t crazy.  That what she would do and say some times, (though I was the colossal screw up), WAS WRONG.   That though I was the unfaithful one, Jodi had realized that she too did some things that were truly hurtful, even though she didn’t know it.  ((this isn’t the first time she has had moments like this, but for this post I’m making a point that this was huge for us, in light of our new lives together.))

So Take heart today unfaithful.   As you progress in your healing, and as you continue to cry out to God for healing, wisdom and revelation, God is not going to just confront YOU.  As you let him deal with YOU first, and minister to you, and heal you, he will continue to do the same in your spouse, in ways you never thought possible.  As you get it, THEY will also get it.  It won't always take 4 years.  Let God open up your eyes today.  I guarantee you, though your hurt spouse may not be sharing it, or communicating it yet, they too are being confronted by past mistakes and past pain.  Look past the outside shell, and outside pain.  The process of restoration is difficult and trying.  But just as this moment came out of nowhere, you too will have healing moments you didn't even ask for, or pray for, or even expect.  

Don’t give up hope today friends.  Keep your hope in God and keep your trust in his ability to come through for you and open up the blindest of eyes, even in areas you think they may never get, understand, or see.  

God knows the unique pain both of you have today.  God knows YOUR pain today and knows how hurt you are. He wants to heal you.  His desire is to mend areas that your spouse may not even know about.  

Trust Him with it, and rely upon His strength and courage, in you today!