Does this ever happen to you....you open the bible, and within literally 10 or 12 seconds, it was as if the Lord just hit you square in the face with what you absolutely didn't want to hear, but so needed to? Today was my day, for that day. This scripture below was a right hook across my face, heart, and soul, and I'm so truly glad this punch got through.

Hebrews 2:1
Therefore we must give the more earnest heed to the things we have heard,
lest we drift away.

The human tendency is to drift. Whether it be from moral to ethical to marital responsibilities, our tendency is to drift away from our convictions and values. The very fact that the bible mentions this warning, speaks to the fact that it wouldn't have been included were it not ever so pertinent to our lives as a whole.

The same principle not only rings true, but finds its apex in marriage. Whether it be in the upkeep of our homes, family standards or values, or just plain communication among spouses, one must be married but a year to realize our tendency is to drift. This drifting is more a sin of ommission rather than commission. It can be seen as a sin which is so easily settled into, not necessarily walked into willfully, or even really consciously. However we do get there, for whatever reason or motivation, we do in fact, drift.

The problem with drifting though, is that we seldom drift to a better, more fruitful, quality of life. Our drifting usually results in some arrived-at moment of sobriety, where we wake up mentally or emotionally, find ourselves depressingly downtrodden, and utter the quintessential statement "HOW DID I (or often times even WE), GET HERE? It's not even as though we come to this repentant awareness ourselves, but rather it's as if we live long enough in consequences of our drifting, that we finally begin to notice something is desperately wrong with not just the world around us, but US as well.

The writer of Hebrews says "To give earnest heed..lest we drift Away.." Far be it from me to add to the bible, however, I interpret "earnest heed" to be synonymous with expressions like intentionality, or decisive effort or purpose, concentrated effort, or strategic and calculated living even. Regardless of the verbiage utilized, there must be specific intent in our hearts and actions, if we are going to minimize our drifting. Oswald chambers, in his renowned book My Utmost For His Highest says it this way..."The true test of a person's spiritual life and character is not what he does in the extraordinary moments of life, but what he does during the ordinary times when there is nothing tremendous or exciting Happening." He goes on to say "A person's self image is revealed in his attitude toward the ordinary things of life when he is not under the spotlight." Perfectly echoed by the modern day proverb, "Who are you when nobody's Watching.."

I don't think this drifting is what we really want to do, or hope to do, but let's face the facts; life gets in the way of everything important or valuable to us.

In a post affair marriage, there can be no place for drifting.

But it does exist.

And true to form, I'm one of the biggest culprits. Just yesterday, I realized I had drifted. I began to see I had drifted away from my daily prayer time, and daily bible time. I began to wonder why I was feeling more and more depressed, and more and more ungrateful and unmotivated about life. As I quickly began to analyze my daily agenda, I began to see what was missing rather quickly. Due to my extremist nature, I disappeared to a local park, on the same day of my awakening if you will, and read the bible for a good 40 minutes.

Not a lot changed.

In fact, I think you could even say my circumstances and current life situations got effectively worse in a matter of just a few hours. Yet I know it was and is, where I belong and that I cannot afford to drift in this area. Drifting from my workout routine, perhaps, but from my spiritual dedication, no way! Author John Maxwell writes "Success is determined by our daily Agenda." For the addict, or the betrayer in recovery, I think it is better said that "Security and sobriety are found in a proper daily Agenda." An agenda of openness and healthy accountability. An agenda of knowing where I should go, must go, refuse to go, and cannot afford to go.

Caveat: in no way does reading the bible, or praying every day, make of us a better Christian than the rest of those who refer to themselves as such. Furthermore, such an agenda of daily prayer or bible time does not make of us the superior spiritual giant. I read the bible and prayed most every day, even consecutive hours in a day, and still was involved in a horrendous affair for 2 years. It is simply not about quantity, but the quality of our devotion and quality of our daily approach to God, our spouses and families, and our agendas of recovery and redemption. For me, and all that I have been through, this daily prayer and bible time keeps me centered and accountable.

Back to the post affair marriage. When we drift, I truly believe everyone around us that is close to us, begins to feel the effects of it. We begin to lose the definitive greatness of who we are, and the quality of life we were meant to live out. This is especially hard for the betrayed spouse to deal with, as early on in our recovery, our every move can be scrutinized with F.B.I. anti terrorist analysis. Please don't misunderstand my sarcasm for disagreement. I happen to understand why my every move was scrutinized. I can NOW understand why Jodi was watching my every move. This went on for at the very least, about a year and a half. Why was she taking such radical steps to watch me so closely? She was trying to discern if I was truly changed and broken because I got caught in my affair, or because I realized I had become something and someone that was a pure contradiction. Jodi was watching me, and not trusting me, in an attempt to verify my behavior as God inspired, and not "I just can't be away from the kids and I'll do whatever it takes to stay together for the kids" inspired. To see if I was humble because I wanted to, or because I had to.

Another fact about drifting is, it doesn't take long to gather momentum. Once drifting begins, the stage is set for momentum to kick in, taking us further and further away from what we so desperately want, need, and in some case, truly love.

WHAT IS GOD SAYING TO YOU TODAY? Can you think of areas you have allowed you or your family to drift in? If you are in a post affair marriage, drifting in your accountability, sobriety, and 2nd chance at your marriage standards, cannot endure the effects of drifting very long at all. I implore you, find out where you are drifting, and turn from it immediately. Turn from the cavalier way of approaching whatever or whoever it is, that has lost it's previous heartfelt devotion. Coming from the background I do, I now hate these big moments we create where we announce how we are NOW going to be more faithful and dedicated to God and His purposes. I have such a cynical disdain for these self induced moments of grandeur, where we now promise God we are going to change and grow and adjust, and no longer practice various forms of behavior. I think it better that we pray a heartfelt prayer of honest and humble repentance, ask God to show us how and where to change, and then make a decision of our wills to change. All the while knowing that without the awesome and empowering grace of God, it's all in vain anyway. God cares about our approach to Him. He cares about our willful decisions to repent and respond. I encourage you today, repent and respond to His promptings. He is just a prayer away, and a new found habit is just a decision away.
WE'RE HERE FOR YOU, AND WE'RE PRAYING FOR YOU.