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This fifth type of affair is commonly referred to as an emotional affair.  Although some would not consider an emotional entanglement an affair, this type of relationship can be just as devastating and destructive as a sexual affair. Emotional affairs are not commonly talked about and frequently their lack of sexual involvement is used as a rationalization as to why it’s not an affair. But technicalities in no way absolve the reality of the situation. The notion that a lack of sexual involvement somehow prevents this type of relational intimacy from being an affair is baffling. Anytime someone other than our mate is permitted to enter the most intimate areas of our life we are giving something that we have no right to give. I have already given and committed my heart and being to another. One good way to identify this type of affair is if your mate’s “best friend” has information or more insight into your mate's life than you. Our definition of infidelity is “the keeping of secrets.” Does their “friend” know more about your marriage than you? If your mate is closer to a friend than to you, then it is already an affair. It may seem harmless because they’ve yet to cross the sexual/physical line, but it is an affair nonetheless.

Characteristics:

• Boundary issues are a factor.
• Your mate is better friends with another individual than they are with you.
• Your mate keeps secrets with their friend rather than with you.
• Your mate does not want to choose between their friend and you.
• Your mate wants to stay married.