Samantha Answers Questions: Part 2

Submitted by Samuel Wed, 05/24/2017 - 13:23

Samantha joins Samuel again today for the second installment of a 3 part series. She shares her side of their journey after infidelity and Samuel's affair from her perspective as the betrayed spouse.

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Spouse in Denial

Submitted by PamJ (not verified) on

What if your spouse remains in denial that he has a lust problem, porn problem and I don't know what else since he has never opened up and confessed?Has your course helped some come out of denial? Thank you for your response, in advance.

absolutely it will help

Submitted by Samuel on

PamJ, yes, the ems weekend will help my friend. the fact is, often times spouses won't open up as they are afraid and full of shame.  they don't know or realize they need to share information if healing is going to happen.  BUT often times they will NOT open up till they are in safe place with expert help that can create safety and objectivity for both spouses.  this article will help explain more:   https://www.affairrecovery.com/newsletter/founder/survive-an-affair-how-much-to-tell this one will help too: https://www.affairrecovery.com/newsletter/founder/why-couples-fail-after-an-affair-not-knowing-what-happened  i would strongly advise you consider the weekend though so he's in person with therapists who have been there and are open and honest about their own journey and are experts at detecting the bs that we, the unfaithful in denial often share.  he needs expert help and insight if he is going to give up the info and heal.  hope that helps you. 

 

Thank you so much Samantha! I

Submitted by suncoast1 on

Thank you so much Samantha! I truly appreciate you hopping in on these video blogs. Adding your direct personal take as the betrayed spouse is helpful for me, providing some normalcy and some validation for how I feel almost 11 months into this. Thank you for being brave enough to share

Thank you, Samantha, for

Submitted by capricornsoul (not verified) on

Thank you, Samantha, for sharing in your own voice how you felt and what your thoughts were. It's so helpful to me to know I'm not alone or unique in how I feel as I deal with my situation with my husband, and it's equally helpful to see with my own eyes a real live couple who made it through. Please keep coming back--you're great at this!

Honesty

Submitted by shatteredagain on

Thank you Samantha for sharing your story - You are an inspiration. I would like to add or ask to the 3 things you told to the Unfaithful - HONESTY. I have struggled with trickles of information since disclosure. These revelations make the path of healing so difficult to stay on.

Thank you is not enough to say.

Submitted by SLM on

Samantha thank you is not enough to say. It does not adequately express my gratitude. I don't know what all goes into the blogs but I appreciate the time and emotional sacrifice you (and Samuel) have made.

I love the repoknce to the question about well meaning yet unsportive friends. My best friend and I have had to take a break. In her marriage she was the other woman. Her husband left his wife for her. She has had to deal with emotions that she never thought about and look at the damage that was caused to the woman her husband left. Her husband and her have been married for 22 years. But until she saw the emotional wreckage that happened she lived in la-la land about the truth. She has been supportive of my choice to stay. But in seeing the damage she has had to work through a lot of her own guilt and other issues. So my word to other is don't be surprised if this happens. Also many people back away bc of their own fear. It is the first time they come face to face with the knowledge of it could happen in your marriage it could happen in theirs.

Samantha you are doing an excellent job and providing a wonderful service to those of us that are walking the road that you have already traveled.

Thank you

Submitted by Jamie5538 on

Samantha, thank you so much for sharing. It's so helpful as a betrayed women me and my husband would often talk about how the unfaithful men have Rick and Samual but only hear from you and Stephanie very little. Don't get me wrong I love the video's from them but to hear a women's side to this is such a great gift you are giving back to us. Just by seeing you sitting next to Samual gives me hope! Thank you so much. I hope you will do more of these and maybe a few on your own to help with things like flooding, comparisons, from a women's side of these situation. Again thank you!!

Samantha-Thank You

Submitted by Brokenheartedwife2 (not verified) on

I wanted to thank Samantha for doing some vlogs with Samuel. It is so helpful to hear from the Betrayed. Especially when the adultery was with your supposed friend. A dbl betrayal is so very difficult. Thank you doesn't seem enough for hearing me too and what has helped you reconcile.

Thank you so much for your

Submitted by dmjones on

Thank you so much for your honesty and bravery. I don't have anyone in my family or friend group who knows so I've felt so isolated and hearing your voice is a blessing.

It's hopeful to see Samantha at your side.

Submitted by condiment on

As a betrayed wife, it's been very informative for my husband and me to have listened to Samuel's blogs. Samantha adds a new dimension to your story. Having her point of view in these three blogs is refreshing and validating and most importantly hopeful. My husband and I have just passed the two year mark on our journey to healing. It's comforting to know that we have a future where infidelity and thinking and talking about it will not be the centerpiece of our marriage. I hope Samantha becomes a regular on the blogs. Thank you and thank you, Affair Recovery!

It's hopeful to see Samantha at your side.

Submitted by condiment on

As a betrayed wife, it's been very informative for my husband and me to have listened to Samuel's blogs. Samantha adds a new dimension to your story. Having her point of view in these three blogs is refreshing and validating and most importantly hopeful. My husband and I have just passed the two year mark on our journey to healing. It's comforting to know that we have a future where infidelity and thinking and talking about it will not be the centerpiece of our marriage. I hope Samantha becomes a regular on the blogs. Thank you and thank you, Affair Recovery!

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What to read next

Samantha Answers Questions: Part 1
Blockages to Healing: Part 2
The Discipline of Pain
Will I Just Be Embarrassed and Humiliated at the EMS Weekend?
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