Thanks, Samuel. Your videos have meant so much to my recovery and I generally relate to them very well. But not this one. I wish so much that it was my husband (unfaithful) doing all the work. Our situation is very much reversed. It is so frustrating and disappointing seeing him fail to do the recovery work I know he so badly needs. I’ve come to a point where I’ve forgiven the actual infidelity, but I’m having a MUCH more difficult time forgiving how I feel I’ve been treated since discovery (his failure to do recovery work and be “all in.”)

I just wanted to let you know how much I really needed to hear your topic today. I have been struggling (in silence) with feelings and not understanding why (I'm the betrayed.) People are doing exactly what you said - Congratulating him and forgetting me. Expecting me to reach out to them when all I get is that I need to do more for him. I am tired of it. I truly understand how Job felt when his "friends" tried to help him during his crisis (that was not his fault in anyway). I am also thankful that you do these discussions where you talk about what the betrayed spouse needs from the unfaithful spouse. You being the unfaithful spouse lends (in my opinion) more credence to the issues betrayed spouses are feeling, experiencing. You are not a betrayed spouse "preaching" to the unfaithful spouses. Instead you are an unfaithful spouse explaining to men/women in your same shoes how to better navigate their own journey if they want to save their marriage and heal from the pain they have caused someone who loved them. You are always fair and honest (traits lacking in our world). I don't always like what I hear but I can respect your motivation for saying it (to help us heal) and eventually I can process it better. Thank you again.

I saw the Hope rising web cast and your apology was great. It is everything as betrayed spouse wants to hear but most likely will never hear. It needs to be put up for content for the Unfaithful to see what a good apology looks like and for the betrayed to have some closure where none will come. God Bless