Surviving the Early Stages of Infidelity: Part 2

Samantha shares her thoughts on how to handle the emotional and mental aftermath of discovery in infidelity. Today is part two in a series where Samantha shares insight into her personal journey of recovery.

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Thank you, Samantha! I

Thank you, Samantha! I appreciate the time you're taking to talk about how you handled the early days of your recovery. I look forward to hearing more about your journey. I am a betrayed spouse; my husband and are together and are 2+ years from D-Day.

Thank you, Samantha! I

Thank you, Samantha! I appreciate the time you're taking to talk about how you handled the early days of your recovery. I look forward to hearing more about your journey. I am a betrayed spouse; my husband and are together and are 2+ years from D-Day.

Sorry about posting same

Sorry about posting same comment twice!

Thank you both

Thank you both for being so willing and open to share such a private part of your lives. I am 2+ years from first disclosure and my husband is not doing what he needs to do to make me feel safe and yet this blog entry has given me new insight into what is going on inside myself and my situation. I know this will be so helpful for anyone starting out on this horrific journey.....too bad I didn't find out about affair recovery sooner! I am so grateful for all the help in past blogs but hearing from lovely Samantha just puts the icing on the cake! Truly, the two of you together sharing both sides is just a phenomenal idea and one I know will be of great help to so many hurting and scared individuals.

Courage

As a betrayed male spouse, I've watched damned near every video you guys have put out. These have helped me immensely. Thank you to both, is an understatement. My wife and I have several children and the courage that you have to tell your story on the interweb - for all to see - including friends and children - is admirable. I would love to have the courage to speak about my experience at 12 yrs out from Dday (uh...not even close at the moment, we're barely 9 months from Dday), and help others. However, I'm not sure how my kids would react to them finding out their mother cheated on their father - at any age. We all know that infidelity is a very selfish act (that's no secret), however, to "man" up to it online, takes courage. I'd be interested in hearing if you have talked to your kids about infidelity. Thank you again for sharing your story. Surprisingly, there aren't others online like this. JCF

I so appreciate Samantha doing these Vlogs

Samantha thank you so much for joining Samuel in these Vlogs to share things that helped you survive the initial devastation and the nuclear blast zone that envelopes everything in your world; and then the things that helped you move forward in your life and then in reconciliation. The vlogs are so helpful. Thank you doesn't express how much they mean.

Thank you both!

Your vlogs have been a tremendous help to me. It's so encouraging to know that coming out better on the other side of all this mess is a real possibility.

Thank you both so much for

Thank you both so much for sharing your story through these videos. We are almost 2 months out from Dday, will be at EMS weekend later this week. One of the highlights of our week - something my husband and I both look forward to each week - is seeing Samantha join Samuel on the blog. (He is the betrayed and I the unfaithful.) We've been given a breath of life through the insight you've shared. Thank you both so much.

Feeling hatred towards my husband

Dear Samantha,

We are 6 months from D day. My husband's AP was a friend. This was not her first affair. Before her affair with my husband started, she told my husband about another 3-year affair she had had and how she confronted that man's wife when he broke off their affair to work on his marriage. Her confronting that man's wife and telling the wife about the affair, resulted in her AP and his wife getting divorced.

Needless to say, I have no respect for her or the way she felt betrayed when she was in fact one of the parties doing the betraying. I find her to be the lowest form of scum, to act the victim and confront an innocent woman when she was in fact unfaithful as well.

My husband knew about this beforehand, that she had had a previous affair and that she intentionally went and destroyed an innocent woman and man's (not so innocent but trying to work on his marriage) marriage. And despite this, he went and had an affair with her as well. I find myself thinking even less of him than of her because he knew what he was getting himself into.

I find it easy to express my disgust and lack of respect for her and can vent and have a real "go at her" as I have no need or desire to maintain any form of relationship with her. However, I find it much more difficult to express my true feelings towards my husband because if I allow myself to feel for him what I feel for her, there will never be a chance of reconciliation as I don't just see her as a good person having made a bad decision; I see her as being the lowest form of scum for intentionally destroying a marriage and the lives of small children and then doing it again.

I wrote this a few months ago. How did you deal with your feelings of hatred towards Samuel?

I have no respect for her
I think she is pathetic and weak
She's got no self control
Her own selfish pleasure is all she seeks
She couldn't care less about the hearts she so recklessly breaks
I hate her
I hate her
I hate her
And although not spoken out loud, this much is true...
I have the exact same feelings towards the man that is you.

What type of affair was it?

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