When Making the Right Decision Still Hurts: Healing from the Devastation of Infidelity

Samuel discusses doing hard things in repair work.

Comments

Someone sad

Submitted by Someone sad (not verified) on Tue, 12/10/2019 - 13:01

What are the proper tools to confront the pain caused by infidelity? I feel so devasted after finding out that my wife and her ex boyfriend were messaging each other again after 10 years. She promissed to be a different woman now and asked me for one more chance. Part of me wanna stay and fight, but most of me wanna walk away.

it's normal...

Submitted by Samuel on Tue, 12/10/2019 - 15:01

sometimes, the best move is to visit options and see how motivated they are to change. are they willing to do whatever it takes to heal? if not, then perhaps staying together will not be the best move, or simply going slow is a better move. but if they are motivated and willing to do whatever it takes, maybe the best move is to give them a chance. i would look at our free bootcamp and our online courses and use them as tools to getting help and visiting options and seeing how serious they are.

What does facing the pain look like in real life?

Submitted by Facing it (not verified) on Wed, 12/11/2019 - 08:29

I relate to this video. But am wondering how do I know when I'm facing it or when I'm running from it? Or maybe better asked what does it look like in real life to confront and address the pain? Is it thinking about it? Is it seeing a therapist? Is it reading books or taking online courses? I love watching all of these videos and reading books but I find it hard knowing how to apply it in my real life.

Cocktail stick

Submitted by Angus on Mon, 12/16/2019 - 12:04

Cocktail stick got me brother lol. I totally agree that you can’t outrun this. But also can totally understand why some try to. Whether it’s for a week, a day, or an hour, just to put it off for any reason that can be conjured up, seems like a better tactic than dealing with “it”. But man, the continued damage really takes its toll. I really wish this was understood better.

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Karen (New!)

Alumna, betrayed. After enduring Betrayal Trauma, Karen developed a passion for assisting other betrayed partners in their journey to grieve, find hope, and rebuild their lives following such a life-shattering event.

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What type of affair was it?

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Karen (New!)