Taming the Tiger Webinar

Tiger Wood's situation has created a huge problem for lots of our recovering couples. Sooooo... we're conducting a webinar Tuesday evening to answer questions and provide solutions for those who are getting dragged down by the whole thing. Maybe it's causing reminders, bringing up fears or memories you thought were gone. Maybe it's just generally causing more tension.

We want to help you address whatever questions or observations it's raising for you.

>>Listen to the Taming the Tiger Webinar<<

 

 

 

 

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PTSD

I want to know how after 3 years of an affair that my husband had and he was jailed for 3 days for home violence....how he can heal...I think he is suffering from PTSD whenever an example of Tiger occurs in the news paper or even a movie scene....is there a hope...I love him and want to help...

Tiger

Do you think there is any hope of him changing without a complete turn around of his life i.e. turning to God?

Tiger Affairs

I guess my only comment would be how to respond to those who, now that it seems Elin is leaving him, can't help but wonder aloud how you could be still staying with your betrayer.  I know you can't live your life overly concerned about what others think of you, but it's yet another deep pain to my fragile ego and self esteem, knowing others think Elin the strong one for leaving and you the weak/afraid one for staying.  In reality, I think it's the opposite.  How, besides distancing yourself from these toxic people can you respond or stop your mind from that swaying into that realm of thinking that tells you, "maybe you are stupid for staying with him."

Thank you, Rick and staff, for your addressing this Tiger mess.  Your right, it does bring up to the forefront those ever present fears and doubts.  Just when you're thinking you're moving forward.....

God bless you.

 

 

How much interegation should a wife...?

Many wives feel 'triggered' to interogate their husband relentlessly, occassionaly or not at all (stuff it).  What should be the non-defensive repsonse of a sober / recovering  husband who is doing the best he can?  Should the husband encourage the wife to "ask me anything"?  or  Does he have the right to 'demand' the wife forgive and forget?

Jerry Sinclair, Faithful and True of Jacksonville, FL

Can she ever feel whole

Can she ever feel whole again?

Tiger's Affair's

Did you really think God or your Wife would approve of you having affairs with all these women?

Did it make you feel more of a Man when you cheated?

Do you regret ruining your family?

Do you feel bad knowing your children will grow up with a Dad who

humiliated his wife and his entire family?

Tiger Woods

Why do we get so bent out of shape when a celebrity, a pastor, the president or any politician gets caught in an affair? Have we all assigned these people of high public profile qualities that are "other than" human? Why is it so upsetting to find out that they really aren't any different from the rest of humanity? I think that all the media attention and hooplah speaks more to a cultural problem of idolizing public figures. We need to remember that they are all as human as those of us who are "low-profile".

Tiger Wood Webinar

Tiger Woood's many affiars--sexual addiction, sin or both? What are some "signals" for one who has been invovled in many affairs is truly serious about expressing his/her sexuality in an appropriate and God honoring manner? What is the relationship between forgiveness and establishing boundaries and consequences for one not honoring those boudnaries?

Tiger's choices

Can that kind of selfishness really be changed?  Can someone that wrapped up in the excitment and power that those actions create let go of them?  Has someone that selfish ever been able to repair the pain they have caused their entire family?  Why do we put so much emphasis on the involved partner?  I think the wronged partner has a bigger hell to get through than the involved partner, who has been having their needs met in somecases on a daily if not weekly basis.  I am so tired of all the attention men get for this childish and hurtful behavior. 

Healthy detachment-what is it?

What is healthy detachment?

tiger woods

my husband had multiple online/dates/affairs right under my nose, then said he deserved it, but then says he deserves me too?  i know the pain this ms woods is suffering, especially when the man is caught...i don't have the media slashing about, but i was full of shame, doubt, felt unlovable, and still do...i wanted to leave/divorce...have two children, one autistic, and i am disabled...

please answer why infidelity is such a shameless activity for cheaters involved...i too found the women, 17, phone numbers and did call them to get the story straight, as my husband continues to lie and justify and protect his privacy...my holidays were affected tremendously, because i could identify with all of the lies, double life...now my husband doesn't have all that energy...they have all the energy for the sex and emails, texting/sexting, dates, but when they go back to the families, they are different, in word, deed and action...our marriage is and will never be the same...i am now  praying for answers, that i will probably never get...when i bring up any of these public affairs, he shuts up and goes into his world (probably sex memories of his past lovers)...why won't he leave me?? i told my husband to file for divorce and tell the court why, why should i have to do all the work...he should have to do all of it and come clean and have it public record for all future lovers to see...but we don't have money or resources or support to do this...so, like most women, i am stuck in a horrible deal that i didn't ask nor want and will never get over and wish never happened, but it did, and my heart is lost.   

mrs woods has the love, money, support, more then any us have, and do not have the wide open choice to get paid for being cheated on...i believe these men should go to jail for their crimes, especially when everyone involved is lied too and deceived...my husbands lovers believed i had died...so, when i came back from the dead, they were surprised...they were apologetic, except for one, the one my husband saw first and most throught the 2 years of his deserving affairs...i pray for all married couples, that they do what they have to do, broken hearts do not mend, they just keep on beating, no matter what the situation...i will never feel the same about my husband...my dad cheated on my mom, which destroyed our family, put us in a financial demise when i was 16, dropped out of school and when to work to help my mom, i am 48 disabled from carpel tunnel/shoulder rebuild for trying to get approval outside myself, because i believed that i wasn't good enough, and that's why my dad left his family for another woman...my first husband cheated on my repeatedly, as his dad did, i was young and strong and didn't have the children to think about and could work and support myself...now, i am not able to do that, as i am disabled...my husband spent my disability money, and i bought him a brand new truck during his infidelities,(which he accepted), with my disability money...( that was our future home or whatever)...i believe if more women/men who got cheated on, could press charges and receive financial and emotional restitution, it would help them get their power back and be able to feel hope for their life and future, not stuck and left with no pride, dignity or hope.....the victims need to be protected and taken care of, especially the children...i have had no counselling except for online things and a work book, which my husband won't work with me, it's been almost two years...he forgot our anniversary this year...

tiger woods should be criminally charged with emotional neglect of his family, just because he paid the bills, didn't give him the right to destroy the lives...he is acting the same way my husband acted, all sheepy and whiney and poor me,,,he should have thought about what he was losing before he went out of control...my biggest question is, i believe my husband is a sex addict, he denies, we have sex 2-4 times per week and are 50, why isn't that enought sex for my husband???(most the time i don't want him near me, do it tokeep the peace, or he pouts/nags whatever, i have even told him to go back to his whores and leave my sexually alone)...but he couldn't have sex with me during his affairs...obviously so is tiger woods a sex addict...why aren't these men made to get into treatment and deal with their issues, like a repeat alcoholic...cheating should be a reportable and punishable crime,  and a couple should not have to get a divorce for it to be public record...that way,, other potential victims will see these serial  cheaters and be ware...my husband can never repay in any way the financial and emotional damages he caused our family...the people that are aware of the cheating treat us like crap because i am a fool for staying, and he is an ass for cheating...we don't have many friends, and minimal family contact...we are isolated, which happens to most of these couples because of the disgrace...i had put my husband on a pedistal, he fell off, i don't know him anymore...

tiger not only let the world down, but will end up like oj simpson...alone and in his own private cell, where he should be, to think and pray, not allowed to play his games that destroy innocent lives and people that love him...i'm glad no one ended up dead, and i hope mrs woods stays where she is loved, with her people and protect her children from this perverted man...my husband was verball sexually inappropriate with me/children, and didn't even realize it....the pervertedness comes out in many different ways, and it's very noticable to the victim (once there is discovery)...there is no way tiger woods does not spill his sexual pervertedness into all of his life, nobody has noticed because as a society we are too desensitized to it...it's definitely there...we need to get to the basics, which is only God can change someone, we can only change ourselves...God wants us to be good soldiers, I believe God would want us victims of infidelity protected and taken care of...this isn't happening, because women are the victims, and we are the second class citizens that should take it...it's a man's world...this is why so many women are "growing penis". i want to be a woman, a love what and who i am, just because i am married to a jerk, doesn't really reflect on me...i took the high road, but i believe i should have been able to have a choice with some assistance to get myself functioning so i could make good decisions for my family...not penalized by having to spend fortune on divorce, relocation, therapy, etc...so, if you stay or if you go, it's a dead end...  

i hope that mrs woods get what she deserves, i hope the court finds tiger guillty of the same thing prince charles did to princess diana...used and destroyed a beautiful woman for breeding purposes...this is satanic motivation, and unforgivable sin...i have two sons that i pray will find good women that they will love and cherish and treasure...they have seen and still see the pain in my face from this part of my life...our family will never be the same...it's very hard to turn something good out of something so vile...

 

Tiger's reputation

I keep hearing that he had a reputation for womanizing before he got married, so why would he decide to marry and say he was happy being a family man when he continued to cheat on his wife? If he wasn't going to settle down and change his ways, why would he marry and have two kids who need a father and then make such a mockery of his marriage?

Can he really change and save his marriage? Does he want to save his marriage? I feel badly for his wife who decided to marry him and she had heard about his reputation before she decided to marry him. Do you think he's a sex addict? I wonder what happened to him that he feels it's okay to cheat on his wife and act like it's no big deal until he gets caught. He doesn't understand about being a celebrity and thinking that none of this will ever come out. There are always reporters waiting for you to slip up or get caught doing something so they can splash it in the news. I have read that his dad cheated on his mom--do you think that has had an effect on him?

What can you say to the men out there who idolize Tiger? My husband thinks he's the greatest golfer ever and so do I, but this has been such a big disappointment for both of us. It brings up many reminders for my husband concerning the affair he had, so do you have anything encouraging for us to say from all of this?

Safety net

When you are married to someone that has a repeat problem, much like Tiger seems to have, there is never a guarantee this will not happen again.  Your spouse may be as "nice as can be" and make all the right moves for the public eye, (again, much like Tiger) but in private that facade can crack and more of the "real" person comes out.  When you have been hurt repeatly and over a course of years, just like Tiger's wife, what type of "saftey net" does the hurt spouse have to try and prevent this from happening and having their heart crushed again?  All of the promises to "never do this again" may very much be meant by the offending spouse, but if you have heard it all for the hundreth time, how is the hurt spouse supposed to put any type of boundries in place so that the offending spouse doesn't just walk all over them again? 

It's almost as if the perception is that if the offending spouse is a "nice guy", much like Tiger, the hurt spouse should just overlook the affairs due to the fact the offender is "nice".  If Tiger had been abusing his spouse or children, or not the all around likeable person he had portrayed to the public, it doesn't seem the public would be as accepting of his behavior as they have been.

Why is it that if the offending spouse is "nice", we are expected to overlook persistant problems?  When is it safe to stay or better to go w/a spouse that reflects that "nice guy" image, when you are never really sure what is going on due to past behavior??

How To Get Over Feeling Stupid for Staying

There are many phases and degrees of self-worthliness that are associated with affairs in marriages.  My biggest hurdle is trying to get over feeling stupid for staying.  My husband cheated on me twice and I can't help feeling like my heart have been stomped on and I am signing up for it again.  I often feel like a door mat.  How do I get over these feelings and try to do my part in healing this marriage?

staying

i read a comment on another blog in which the spouse said "Every day I have to forgive myself for forgiving him.". I thought that was really epic since infidelity rocks us to our very core. We are not who we thought we'd be, not doing what we always said we would do in this situation. it does in a lot of ways make you feel like a weak person with low self-esteem.