I am the unfaithful partner. I have heard you say that unfaithful partners more often than not affair down and that we sacrifice the 80 percent of what our marriages provide for the 20 percent they don't.

But what if the 20 percent is the stuff that really matters - the kindness, shared life passions and true intimacy with another person? My husband and I are nearly 6 months from on D Day and this is still what I'm struggling with most.