We know it’s hard to think straight when your life is in crisis. And how would you know what to do with a ruptured relationship if you’ve never been in this situation before?
Luckily, we know how to help. Our years of personal and professional experience have taught us that it is possible to recover from an affair. Since Affair Recovery was started, the company has helped hundreds of people like you find hope and heal their relationships. With a proven path and support from an anonymous small group, pain and mistrust can be replaced by truth and understanding.
What we discovered at Affair Recovery that makes the process incredibly powerfulis that being involved with other people who have different points of view allows you to both find hope and new pathways to get yourself through this. We’ve discovered that when you hear another couple speak about their particular problem, you don’t look at them through same historical lens or biases that you have toward your mate. You can see them in real-time, you know exactly how they feel, you can relate to them. However, if you're looking at your mate, it’s too clouded by things that have happened in the past. You can understand your mate far better through another couple or couples than you can with just the two of you talking. In fact, being in a group is even more effective than marriage therapy alone. In marriage therapy, therapists have to work through your biases toward each other, but when you’re with others you can see other options. Witnessing growth and progress in other marriages enables you to have the perspective to understand progress in your own marriage.
Fellowship with others normalizes your situation. After an affair, you probably feel a bit like a freak. You don’t want the shame that’s destroying your life. The thought of working on this relationship may seem really foolish to you, but when you see the courage being displayed by other couples who are going through this, you find encouragement. It will inspire you, it will make you realize, not only is it a courageous choice, it’s a wise choice because you’ll be able to see the benefits. Being in a group process also gives you amazing support by bonding with others. If you’re down and you’re really discouraged, and you think you can’t go on, you’ve got other people to pick you back up. If you stay disconnected, just doing marriage therapy, for instance, you could feel very isolated. Who do you turn to? However, in this kind of group, everyone knows how you feel, they affirm you, and you finally feel truly understood. What’s strange is that not only do you find a place where you feel understood, but your mate finds a place where they feel understood.
One of the things you really want is for your mate to able to understand what they’ve done to you. You’ve told them over and over, but they still don’t get it. There’s no way for them to have empathy, but when you put them with other people who’ve also betrayed their mates, it actually amplifies their ability to hear what you are trying to communicate. They see it in others, and they start to develop empathy for others. They move beyond their defensiveness and see you in a different light. Being with others ultimately allows the two of you to finally have a rational conversation about this whole situation. Listening to others allows you to talk about your own relationship in new terms and in new ways and it gives you new pathways to deal with pain and frustration.
Groups create forward momentum that helps you get through this process. When you feel you can't go on, others in your group pick you up and carry you through the difficult times. You’re going to feel alive; rather than feeling dead like you might now. You’re going to find hope that you didn’t know existed, you’re going to find healing, and you’re going to find a meaningful life.