Why?

Emotions may run high as you journey through this course and we want to strongly encourage you to make no decision regarding the marriage until you have completed the entire course. I (Rick) promise you there will come a point when you are sure there is no way you are going to continue in this relationship and that may be true, but there will be no harm in waiting the allotted time period. You can never tell the end of the story by the beginning.

1. Commitment: I agree to complete the next 90 days of this course before making a decision as to either stay or leave this marital relationship.
2. Participation: I will do my best to complete all assignments.
   1. These assignments are not just for your benefit, but they are also for the benefit of the community of wounded people that will be a part of your journey. I cannot stress how important it is to complete the homework. Failure to do so will not only rob those participating with you in this journey, but it will also rob you of the opportunity for personal growth. Finally, failure to complete the homework won’t be good for your marriage. You do not want to be the only person who has not completed their homework. This will only serve to create more hurt and discouragement for your mate.
3. Confidentiality: I agree to respect the anonymity and protect the privacy of the other group members including my mate. The group is intended to remain totally anonymous, but if by some strange chance I discover the actual identity of one of the group members, I agree to protect their anonymity and confidentiality. What's said in the group stays in the group. I agree to not record or share any calls or record or share any details of anyone's personal information. I will not reveal the identity or details of anyone in the group to anyone outside the group. In addition, I will not disclose any information that is shared in the group to anyone outside the group, including things my mate shares. We all need safe people with whom to talk. Failure to be protective of the lives of other group members can not only do irreparable damage to others but also hinder your own journey. Each person has her own right to share their story as they choose.
4. Honesty: I agree to attempt to be rigorously honest while participating in this group. Speaking the truth in love, doing my best not to further wound my mate or other group members.
5. Respect: I agree to let others be wrong. We have found in doing hundreds of these groups that it is possible for people not to get it. The tendency is to help them by trying to get them to understand. I agree to let them be wrong, only expressing my opinion after receiving their permission to share.
6. Attendance: I agree to make every effort to attend all 13group meetings. I understand my participation is not only important for my own healing, but I also bring an important piece to the healing process of other group members.I acknowledge that by missing 3 consecutive calls I will be removed from the Small Group Wall and may lose my abilityto attend further calls.
7. Safety:
   1. For the Wayward Spouse:During this 90 day process, I agree to suspend my relationship with my affair partner (if there is another person). During this ninety day process, I will focus on my personal healing and explore the potential for my marriage. I will not make a permanent decision until the group has been completed. I agree not to be verbally or physically abusive to my mate.
   2. For the Hurt Spouse: I will make every effort not to be abusive to my mate over the next 90 days, either verbally or physically. I will attempt to be safe enough for him/her to engage with me in this process. (For some, this may be difficult, but it's important to honor this process even if it doesn't seem fair.)
8. I will not use my mate's Affair Recovery account. We prohibit the shared use of AffairRecovery.com user accounts due to the nature of the website and the need to have safety precautions in place based on gender. Using your mate's account or allowing your mate to use yours puts other users' safety and privacy in jeopardy.

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