I wish I could wave a wand

I wish I could wave a wand and give you some answers. And I wish I could tell you what makes someone come out of their selfishness, sin and fog. For me it was fear, denial, and just a basic distance from intimacy. I knew I needed help when I realized I could lose my marriage, my kids, and our home. As soon as I realized it was a very real possibility that I could be a single mom in an apartment (I realized the affair wasn't that serious and my AP would never leave his wife), I knew I had to do everything to change. It was a drastic wake up call. I can't speak for anyone but myself, but I want to do anything to never go back to that. I'm sorry for ya'll's pain. I hope clarity comes soon.