Reply to happygirl2018

Happygirl2018 your comment could have literally come from my experience in recovery from my wife’s infidelity. I’m even 2 years further yet the feelings you describe haven’t lessened for me. In fact the whole feeling as if the marriage fails now after all this it will be my own fault for not being strong enough to overcome this hurdle. After 20 years and 3 children with somebody the mere thought of somehow tearing this thing you’ve built over a lifetime apart seems next to impossible. I can say for certain my biggest regret to this day is thinking we could fix this without professional guidance. In fact the more I researched the subject the more it became clear how many mistakes I made during the first year or so. At this point it feels futile to initiate that sort of help. 6 years of steadily growing into different people has made it feel so impossible to even desire desiring the relationship we once had. It’s not like we fight or even argue about anything, even that would at least have some passion about something. I feel as if all our life we worked hard to get to the point both financially and intimately that we would finally have a chance to slow down and enjoy our fifty’s onward. The thought of planning anything for the future has been a struggle for me. I can honestly say what ultimately led me to stay and try and work it out was the kids weren’t all grown and out of the house yet. Now that that has happened it’s harder to not feel as if I was robbed of half my life which has definitely caused some resentment. I’m sorry to say at least in my experience if you haven’t repaired things after 4 years then 6 years makes it apparent you’ve been avoiding the inevitable at the cost of your ability to enjoy life. I wish you a better tome in the future with your process and apologize for my long rambling as something about your comment really triggered all this to pour out.