In limbo

Married for 27 years and recently found that my husband an emotional and sexual affair for 4 years with a family friend. Every year I was just as approached by her husband but I never thought anything until the last and final confrontation. Then it’s been 2-3 years of bagging and questioning. He finally fessed up.
I’ve officially known since April 1 and it’s now July 4th. What was a good between us seems like a lifetime ago. And I’m going through the motions. He had another person he confided in. Someone he cared for over and above me. Not just once. Not a few times. But for 4 years! She’s disgusting but obviously he had some attraction to her. I’m so angry and depressed. How do I move forward? Do I move forward with out him? Is it hilarious that he still wants to be with me? I ask myself why and I think it’s because we own homes and have children together. He doesn’t want to lose a comfortable life. However, I’ve lost my security, trust, love and friendship. I’m shaken to the core. We are going to counseling but not sure it’s helping. He gives me trickle truths. I feel like I’m at square I every day. He can barely be truthful. Something he has always been. I an angry and I want them to feel like I do. I’m not in a good place. And I don’t know if I’ll ever be the same. I don’t want another relationship.