Thank you for these suggestions - and the validation of the difficulty with the season. There is much expectation for happiness and peace, and in families in crisis there is much pressure to just be happy, or be at peace. Families with addictions experience a "surreal" holiday that can feel very void of any real meaning.
For years, for the sake of my kids, I "put on the face" of peace while suffering through my husband's lies and abuse privately. He was able to put on the face of "joy" for everyone else. I used to love the holidays, but now, sadly, I would just like to skip them. I get tired of faking it.
That said, I have done some of the things listed in this article and it does make a difference. I simplified a lot of the holidays and concentrate on the blessings of my healthier relationships.
Also, find a way to be actively involved in a charity or other volunteer service - at a nursing home or homeless shelter, a local community program. People really are hurting all around us, so I don't feel as isolated and "targeted" by my own sadness from my own losses.
Comments
Thank you for these suggestions - and the validation of the difficulty with the season. There is much expectation for happiness and peace, and in families in crisis there is much pressure to just be happy, or be at peace. Families with addictions experience a "surreal" holiday that can feel very void of any real meaning.
For years, for the sake of my kids, I "put on the face" of peace while suffering through my husband's lies and abuse privately. He was able to put on the face of "joy" for everyone else. I used to love the holidays, but now, sadly, I would just like to skip them. I get tired of faking it.
That said, I have done some of the things listed in this article and it does make a difference. I simplified a lot of the holidays and concentrate on the blessings of my healthier relationships.
Also, find a way to be actively involved in a charity or other volunteer service - at a nursing home or homeless shelter, a local community program. People really are hurting all around us, so I don't feel as isolated and "targeted" by my own sadness from my own losses.