I agree with the fact that there are few recovery stories when the woman is the betrayer. Here is my story and analogy of how a man's betrayal affects the marriage versus a woman's betrayal. My husband was the betrayer 14 years before I betrayed him. He denied my accusations of his betrayal and left me in the wake of thinking I was crazy and questioning my own intuition. After he discovered my affair, he had no sympathy or understanding. In fact, he finally admitted his affair several weeks after his discovery just to hurt me all over again (he admitted this fact months later). I compare trying to heal from each betrayal as breaking each of my arms. When I "knew" of his affair it felt like the left arm or our marital body was pulverized, but only I acknowledged it. He ignored and denied there was a fracture (in our relationship) so that horribly mess-up left arm got no attention but slowly began to mend itself. It (the arm part of our relationship) repaired but was contorted and poorly functioning. When my affair was discovered it was as if the marital right arm was crushed. The difference this time was that he gave all his attention to the wrongness of my affair and how it traumatized him and the marriage. That "right arm" got all the attention and focus. This arm healed much more quickly and correctly because of all the attention it received. We are still married 6 years after his discovery, and we are in a better place than we were, but our relationship is still more fragile than either of us prefer. Today, our marriage's right arm healed correctly while the left arm is still neglected but functioning. I ask Affair Recovery to address this issue of women's betrayal effects on the relationship and the success in recovery.
few recoveries when the wife is the betrayer
I agree with the fact that there are few recovery stories when the woman is the betrayer. Here is my story and analogy of how a man's betrayal affects the marriage versus a woman's betrayal. My husband was the betrayer 14 years before I betrayed him. He denied my accusations of his betrayal and left me in the wake of thinking I was crazy and questioning my own intuition. After he discovered my affair, he had no sympathy or understanding. In fact, he finally admitted his affair several weeks after his discovery just to hurt me all over again (he admitted this fact months later). I compare trying to heal from each betrayal as breaking each of my arms. When I "knew" of his affair it felt like the left arm or our marital body was pulverized, but only I acknowledged it. He ignored and denied there was a fracture (in our relationship) so that horribly mess-up left arm got no attention but slowly began to mend itself. It (the arm part of our relationship) repaired but was contorted and poorly functioning. When my affair was discovered it was as if the marital right arm was crushed. The difference this time was that he gave all his attention to the wrongness of my affair and how it traumatized him and the marriage. That "right arm" got all the attention and focus. This arm healed much more quickly and correctly because of all the attention it received. We are still married 6 years after his discovery, and we are in a better place than we were, but our relationship is still more fragile than either of us prefer. Today, our marriage's right arm healed correctly while the left arm is still neglected but functioning. I ask Affair Recovery to address this issue of women's betrayal effects on the relationship and the success in recovery.