My feelings exactly. 5 years from d-day currently and I don't trust any more now than I did then. Mainly because I haven't been told anything of what happened. I only know what I know due to the "investigative" work I did. So believing/trusting her again seems virtually impossible. I've stayed for the sake of our child. but that child will be leaving home soon. So, where does that leave us? Well, it leaves me in a similar situation. We are no where near the same as we were and questioning how it could ever be the same or better. I am also constantly questioning what was wrong with me. I still fact check and find things that she seems to do that keep her connected to the affair, even if there is no actual contact (to my knowledge).
Overall, my personal feeling is that effort makes all the difference. Equally, the lack of effort makes just as much difference just in the opposite direction. I too ask myself why and feel small/belittled within my own home. I know I can survive on my own. Now the question is, do I want to? This site and Elizabeth's post, in particular, have made a huge, positive impact on my life. Thank you and keep them coming!
My feelings exactly. 5 years
My feelings exactly. 5 years from d-day currently and I don't trust any more now than I did then. Mainly because I haven't been told anything of what happened. I only know what I know due to the "investigative" work I did. So believing/trusting her again seems virtually impossible. I've stayed for the sake of our child. but that child will be leaving home soon. So, where does that leave us? Well, it leaves me in a similar situation. We are no where near the same as we were and questioning how it could ever be the same or better. I am also constantly questioning what was wrong with me. I still fact check and find things that she seems to do that keep her connected to the affair, even if there is no actual contact (to my knowledge).
Overall, my personal feeling is that effort makes all the difference. Equally, the lack of effort makes just as much difference just in the opposite direction. I too ask myself why and feel small/belittled within my own home. I know I can survive on my own. Now the question is, do I want to? This site and Elizabeth's post, in particular, have made a huge, positive impact on my life. Thank you and keep them coming!