Angus- If my wife communicated to me what your wife has communicated, it would breath new life where I feel I am losing hope. It would allow me to extend even more grace and patience as my wife as she unoackages the mess she is in.
Annie K- Simple start speaking from your heart. Even if you don’t have all the answers of your “why”, truly communicated sincere remorse not just for the pain you caused but for the choices you made. Any sort of communication you have been able to start to self reflect on your choices and the consequences they have caused is a great start. My unfaithful wife is simply stuck at I’m sorry. But, there is no communication of what she is sorry about. She is too stuck in her own grief, shame, pain that she continues to be self centered. There is no empathy. I feel she is sorry she hurt me, but it feels like she hasn’t taken responsibility. It is almost like saying I al sorry you are upset. Instead of saying I am sorry for what I did was incredibly wrong, destructive, selfish, and of course as far from loving as any act can be. Start to own up to what you did that brought so much pain and destruction to both of your lives. That is a bridge that will be built that will allow your spouse to own up to the pain they have certainly caused you as well. Having the betrayed spouse do all the work on top of being of the receiving end of their spouses infidelity can almost be too much for the betrayed to handle.
I know this is 3 months late, but maybe a perspective from a betrayed husband will help you and others.
Angus and Annie
Angus- If my wife communicated to me what your wife has communicated, it would breath new life where I feel I am losing hope. It would allow me to extend even more grace and patience as my wife as she unoackages the mess she is in.
Annie K- Simple start speaking from your heart. Even if you don’t have all the answers of your “why”, truly communicated sincere remorse not just for the pain you caused but for the choices you made. Any sort of communication you have been able to start to self reflect on your choices and the consequences they have caused is a great start. My unfaithful wife is simply stuck at I’m sorry. But, there is no communication of what she is sorry about. She is too stuck in her own grief, shame, pain that she continues to be self centered. There is no empathy. I feel she is sorry she hurt me, but it feels like she hasn’t taken responsibility. It is almost like saying I al sorry you are upset. Instead of saying I am sorry for what I did was incredibly wrong, destructive, selfish, and of course as far from loving as any act can be. Start to own up to what you did that brought so much pain and destruction to both of your lives. That is a bridge that will be built that will allow your spouse to own up to the pain they have certainly caused you as well. Having the betrayed spouse do all the work on top of being of the receiving end of their spouses infidelity can almost be too much for the betrayed to handle.
I know this is 3 months late, but maybe a perspective from a betrayed husband will help you and others.