...but since I found this website and the articles and blog, each and every time I log on, I feel hope and draw strength from everything I read. My D-Day was April 29th of this year when I found emails and chats on my husband's laptop (he had given me his laptop to configure our new wireless printer, couldn't remember our wireless network password, and in looking in the 'keychain' I discovered his secret email address log in info...unconscious desire to get caught? Hm...) We've been married 31 years this month. And the affair with his coworker was for the last 4 (he was laid off last August- God thing?). And I had no clue. He was "THE husband". Our daughters all modeled their ideal man after their dad and married men who had similar traits. I trusted him explicitly. He never gave me reason not to. He was not consitently home late from work. There were no credit card bills or unexplained withdrawls from our checking. Once in a while he'd ask to 'go out with the guys'...but he actually did. When I confronted him, he did the usual- denied it, then minimized it, then pleaded with me to just forgive him and forget it. But in the end, he did everything I asked- went to our pastor, set up appointments with a counselor, told our adult children and spouses and his siblings, was remorseful and repentant, and hasn't spoken to her since then. Samuel, you don't know how your entries have helped both of us. He especially resonated with the entry about slavery and not knowing how to get out of it, the feeling of 'this is how it's just gonna be'...and I just wanted to say thanks for allowing God to use you in helping us- people you don't even know. I am amazed at the people God's put in our path. I know this process is going to be a long haul. I've never felt such pain in my life and I know this is going to be hard. And I know there's alot yet to deal with...but I know that somehow we'll be better than we were. So, just wanted to say thank you. And please continue to write about things God puts on your heart.
It's crazy...