well K, it's somewhat normal, but also concerning as well. from what he is doing, it sounds like he is trying which is what you want and hope for after the affair has ended. it is though, somewhat concerning that he will not engage in any sexual behavior, but again, that may be due to some internal issues he is dealing with. for example, many times men who engage in pornography for a while, are unable to have sex with their spouse for a while, since they are detoxing from the adrenaline and chemical release in their brain from the porn. they are detoxing and it will take time and the right help to help them re engage with their spouse. it's very similar with an affair partner. they will always go through a detox phase, unless it was a one night stand, and that will translate into a necessary detox period as well. not all unfaithful men are like this, but it's common to see this sort of reaction. i would make sure someone is involved that has been through infidelity, as he will need help understanding how to reengage and how to reconnect with you. it's really one of the most difficult points of recovery, reconnecting physically for some couples. by pursuing him, it may make things worse, so for now, i'd encourage you to not pursue him, but to take it slow and think about getting help from Rick here, in the form of the emsw maybe.....your turn now. :)
some thoughts
well K, it's somewhat normal, but also concerning as well. from what he is doing, it sounds like he is trying which is what you want and hope for after the affair has ended. it is though, somewhat concerning that he will not engage in any sexual behavior, but again, that may be due to some internal issues he is dealing with. for example, many times men who engage in pornography for a while, are unable to have sex with their spouse for a while, since they are detoxing from the adrenaline and chemical release in their brain from the porn. they are detoxing and it will take time and the right help to help them re engage with their spouse. it's very similar with an affair partner. they will always go through a detox phase, unless it was a one night stand, and that will translate into a necessary detox period as well. not all unfaithful men are like this, but it's common to see this sort of reaction. i would make sure someone is involved that has been through infidelity, as he will need help understanding how to reengage and how to reconnect with you. it's really one of the most difficult points of recovery, reconnecting physically for some couples. by pursuing him, it may make things worse, so for now, i'd encourage you to not pursue him, but to take it slow and think about getting help from Rick here, in the form of the emsw maybe.....your turn now. :)