Affair Recovery

Dear lishcia
I just read your testimony and its like reading my own story. Last November my husband came out about the affair he was having with another woman. He has had so many before, but this one was different. I started fighting, but unlike the others, I fought this one in the spirit. I will never forget my husband's words "I want to come back to you". Its been a struggle ever since. But just like your husband, there is no true repentance. Eventhough it might sound like it. Ive done everything and more to save this marriage. He starts too, but then falls back again. I have listened to God. I wrote down scriptural promises. I fought on the frontline. I did the love dare (that is what turned my husband back). People are praying for us too. But if there is no true surrender on his part, there is nothing left to do. I was at such a low that I had suicidal thoughts and thoughts of self harm. The only prayer I can utter at this stage is the "Our Father, who art in heaven." I am tired, so so emotionally tired