Rick, I can agree with your article on not snooping because it's not necessarily a true reflection of where your spouse is at in the process. I see it as part of the "venting" that we all do from time to time. But what about snooping to get more of the truth about our spouses affairs? I read one of my wife's journal entries one time, while she was still in the lying/denial stage, and found out about another sexual affair that she had never told me about. I'm not condoning snooping, but where do we draw the line on investigating our spouses sexual and emotional experiences wih other people? My wife has lied and covered up her past for over 20 years, and now all I get is "I don't remember". So is that to say that we should just let it slide and never know? I've learned through our journey that what is allowed to stay hidden really never gets dealt with. Thoughts on this?
Snooping
Rick, I can agree with your article on not snooping because it's not necessarily a true reflection of where your spouse is at in the process. I see it as part of the "venting" that we all do from time to time. But what about snooping to get more of the truth about our spouses affairs? I read one of my wife's journal entries one time, while she was still in the lying/denial stage, and found out about another sexual affair that she had never told me about. I'm not condoning snooping, but where do we draw the line on investigating our spouses sexual and emotional experiences wih other people? My wife has lied and covered up her past for over 20 years, and now all I get is "I don't remember". So is that to say that we should just let it slide and never know? I've learned through our journey that what is allowed to stay hidden really never gets dealt with. Thoughts on this?