nmg, you are correct, it's one of the toughest aspects to grab hold of. remember though, people have affairs because of their own dysfunction and own inability to handle difficult situations the right way. the marriage may be 50% your responsibility, but the affair is 100% HIS responsibility and though he was comparing your to her, the comparison is out of his own blindness and dysfunction. I think it speaks to his own unhealthiness and his own deception. many will marry who they know to be the right one, but have an affair with a type of what they also want. please know though, that either way this is due to his own confusion and his own duplicity. i'm very sorry for the pain you are in and the hurt that surrounds you right now. it's unfortunate you are the victim of his unhealthiness and that you are the one who suffers most for his bad choices. I hope you are able to find healing and wholeness for you due to the pain you have had to walk through.
aspect...
nmg, you are correct, it's one of the toughest aspects to grab hold of. remember though, people have affairs because of their own dysfunction and own inability to handle difficult situations the right way. the marriage may be 50% your responsibility, but the affair is 100% HIS responsibility and though he was comparing your to her, the comparison is out of his own blindness and dysfunction. I think it speaks to his own unhealthiness and his own deception. many will marry who they know to be the right one, but have an affair with a type of what they also want. please know though, that either way this is due to his own confusion and his own duplicity. i'm very sorry for the pain you are in and the hurt that surrounds you right now. it's unfortunate you are the victim of his unhealthiness and that you are the one who suffers most for his bad choices. I hope you are able to find healing and wholeness for you due to the pain you have had to walk through.