"Do you ever wonder why your spouse can connect with others, or even with other affair partners, but not you, their own spouse?" - I think what you call "marital anorexia" is a pure lack of desire. How can someone long for intimacy and conversation, for love and apreciation, but refuse to look for these at home? How can you say "I'm so tired, I can't even talk." and then stay late at night (or rather early in the morning) to talk to your OW on the phone, after you have spent the entire day together? After my husband's affair came to light, I tried everything to make him talk to me. He does only when I threaten him I will kick him out of the house. Then he promises he will do his best to improve our communication, that he will try to spend at least one hour a day with me just talking about what happened with our life... He tells me he is sorry and wants to make the thing right, even says he loves me... And the next day - nothing! He comes home, we talk abour everyday stuff, then have dinner and he falls asleep. And this has been going on for a year and a half! If I start a conversation he reluctantly talks - lies most of the time. If I keep silent, he'd never start. I believe that if someone wants to do the right thing, he will find a way! If he doesn't struggle for what he wants, it means he doesn't want it! And not wanting to love and communicate to your mate is not an anorexia - it is purely an absence of love! Is such a relationship worth saving at all?
How come
"Do you ever wonder why your spouse can connect with others, or even with other affair partners, but not you, their own spouse?" - I think what you call "marital anorexia" is a pure lack of desire. How can someone long for intimacy and conversation, for love and apreciation, but refuse to look for these at home? How can you say "I'm so tired, I can't even talk." and then stay late at night (or rather early in the morning) to talk to your OW on the phone, after you have spent the entire day together? After my husband's affair came to light, I tried everything to make him talk to me. He does only when I threaten him I will kick him out of the house. Then he promises he will do his best to improve our communication, that he will try to spend at least one hour a day with me just talking about what happened with our life... He tells me he is sorry and wants to make the thing right, even says he loves me... And the next day - nothing! He comes home, we talk abour everyday stuff, then have dinner and he falls asleep. And this has been going on for a year and a half! If I start a conversation he reluctantly talks - lies most of the time. If I keep silent, he'd never start. I believe that if someone wants to do the right thing, he will find a way! If he doesn't struggle for what he wants, it means he doesn't want it! And not wanting to love and communicate to your mate is not an anorexia - it is purely an absence of love! Is such a relationship worth saving at all?