Diana0905 thank you for your comment. it's very normal the unfaithful doesn't remember stuff. it may be too long ago, they blocked it out, they don't want to remember, or they simply can't remember. it's not always the case, but often times the case. i think i would help remind him of the info at the ems weekend about needing details and needing information to heal and to move forward. you could be being lied to, sure. it's too early to tell for me anyway and at this point, i'd probably think the truth is somewhere in the middle. to say he can't remember much at all would be a stretch. its normal to remember stuff 6 months later, or even a year or two later, but it all depends on several variables like: was there alcohol involved, how long ago was it, what kind of state was he in when the affair was going on etc. for a 5 year affair, there should be some details for sure on what happened and this and that. have you considered a lie detector? maybe that's a next step to have a hard stop to it all. but, at the end of the day, you may have to face the fact that you know what you know and you need to work on YOU and your own recovery. as long as there is not any acting out currently going on and there isn't any unsafe behavior going on as well. was he unable to remember stuff even at the ems??? hope that helps a bit.
remembering...