This does help. Let me say that the boundaries have been set and hedges are in place. My H has kept the lines clear and defined. We have done everything short of moving to create barriers and yet the ap continues with her attempts to re-engage my H. He is over it and her. He sees her attempts as tactics to destroy his family and that is unacceptable to him.
And truly, it is how I am responding to these current attempts by the ap. I feel powerless and victimized in these situations. A big part of me wants to hide in shame. And another part of me wants to protect and defend my H and my children. I don't dare engage the ap. I choose the high road, but I drown in the negative response - the powerlessness, the shame. How do I flip the switch so to speak and respond more positively? How do I convince myself that I am the honorable one without beating my chest and claiming that I am better than she is?
I am (still) in the process of grieving and I do feel that I am finding and offering forgiveness to my spouse....but I struggle to offer this to the AP especially given her recent actions.
moving forward when violated
Samuel,
This does help. Let me say that the boundaries have been set and hedges are in place. My H has kept the lines clear and defined. We have done everything short of moving to create barriers and yet the ap continues with her attempts to re-engage my H. He is over it and her. He sees her attempts as tactics to destroy his family and that is unacceptable to him.
And truly, it is how I am responding to these current attempts by the ap. I feel powerless and victimized in these situations. A big part of me wants to hide in shame. And another part of me wants to protect and defend my H and my children. I don't dare engage the ap. I choose the high road, but I drown in the negative response - the powerlessness, the shame. How do I flip the switch so to speak and respond more positively? How do I convince myself that I am the honorable one without beating my chest and claiming that I am better than she is?
I am (still) in the process of grieving and I do feel that I am finding and offering forgiveness to my spouse....but I struggle to offer this to the AP especially given her recent actions.