At first, I thought that I didn't feel any shame--I mean I am ashamed of what my husband did, but after all, he owns it. So I felt like all the shame belonged to him. When I read this article, I now can identify the shameful feelings that I have been feeling for the past one to two years (we had two dates of disclosure for the same affair). The pain of these feelings is intense and I wonder is the shame of being in a marriage that has such shame attached to it more painful and more difficult than the pain of leaving the shameful marriage and moving on. Who knows?????
The pain of living this mess and the shame I feel when I am involved with people who know the story is not explainable. When I see people who don't know the story and they tell me what a beautiful couple/family we are, I feel shame because I think--if they only knew!!! This whole ordeal has cost us so much, family, friends, dignity, jobs. I have lived through such madness and we aren't close to being healed.
I pray that I can find the strength to forgive, the dignity to live through shame and desire to be in love again. I wish everyone on this journey peace and joy.
The shame hurts so badly
At first, I thought that I didn't feel any shame--I mean I am ashamed of what my husband did, but after all, he owns it. So I felt like all the shame belonged to him. When I read this article, I now can identify the shameful feelings that I have been feeling for the past one to two years (we had two dates of disclosure for the same affair). The pain of these feelings is intense and I wonder is the shame of being in a marriage that has such shame attached to it more painful and more difficult than the pain of leaving the shameful marriage and moving on. Who knows?????
The pain of living this mess and the shame I feel when I am involved with people who know the story is not explainable. When I see people who don't know the story and they tell me what a beautiful couple/family we are, I feel shame because I think--if they only knew!!! This whole ordeal has cost us so much, family, friends, dignity, jobs. I have lived through such madness and we aren't close to being healed.
I pray that I can find the strength to forgive, the dignity to live through shame and desire to be in love again. I wish everyone on this journey peace and joy.