I could have written your exact comments, although I commend your ability to set boundaries and establish a deadline, something I haven’t been able to do and it’s been 1.5yrs. My spouse too is mired in inaction (mine won’t even contemplate therapy…together or individually) and won’t accept any blame for his affair. He just pulls further and further away in an effort I’m convinced to force me to take action only then to blame me as the bad guy. I don’t think your actions are destructive entitlement at all. In my mind, destructive entitlement is a justification for taking revenge (ie having an affair of your own) or sabotaging the healing process through vindictive actions to try to hurt the other person the way you’ve been hurt. Your efforts only speak of actions intended for healing, self preservation and healthy boundaries in the face of a desire for repair, but a realistic view that you can’t control another persons actions.
I could have written your
I could have written your exact comments, although I commend your ability to set boundaries and establish a deadline, something I haven’t been able to do and it’s been 1.5yrs. My spouse too is mired in inaction (mine won’t even contemplate therapy…together or individually) and won’t accept any blame for his affair. He just pulls further and further away in an effort I’m convinced to force me to take action only then to blame me as the bad guy. I don’t think your actions are destructive entitlement at all. In my mind, destructive entitlement is a justification for taking revenge (ie having an affair of your own) or sabotaging the healing process through vindictive actions to try to hurt the other person the way you’ve been hurt. Your efforts only speak of actions intended for healing, self preservation and healthy boundaries in the face of a desire for repair, but a realistic view that you can’t control another persons actions.