Right now, I am trying to do as Samantha did, and allow God to do his work to resurrect the marriage. If God can mend the hurt, grief, and bitterness in my heart and the selfishness in my spouse, then maybe we have a chance at a better marriage. If God can get me through this seemingly unending grief, sadness, and depression I constantly feel 24/7, then maybe I have a chance at a better life filled with joy. My spouse appears to be trying. It's me that was - and still is-- having the difficulty. However, on Valentine's Day, I chose to break through it all. I felt like I had to do something! I was miserable! So I chose to give back to him my heart. I gave him a small wooden heart with my name and "please protect it" written on it. I asked him to keep it in his wallet and take it out and think about it before he makes any more choices to betray. I hope it will help him think twice before he does it again. I hope it will help me get out of this depressed fog I'm in, try to work harder on recovery, and remember the good things about our marriage. Right now, I can't remember any times over the past 20 years in our marriage that are not tainted and soiled with his bad choices and traces and handprints of his AP. I hope I can someday get past it all -- with God's help and the help of that heart. I really need and want a new life!
Right now, I am trying to do
Right now, I am trying to do as Samantha did, and allow God to do his work to resurrect the marriage. If God can mend the hurt, grief, and bitterness in my heart and the selfishness in my spouse, then maybe we have a chance at a better marriage. If God can get me through this seemingly unending grief, sadness, and depression I constantly feel 24/7, then maybe I have a chance at a better life filled with joy. My spouse appears to be trying. It's me that was - and still is-- having the difficulty. However, on Valentine's Day, I chose to break through it all. I felt like I had to do something! I was miserable! So I chose to give back to him my heart. I gave him a small wooden heart with my name and "please protect it" written on it. I asked him to keep it in his wallet and take it out and think about it before he makes any more choices to betray. I hope it will help him think twice before he does it again. I hope it will help me get out of this depressed fog I'm in, try to work harder on recovery, and remember the good things about our marriage. Right now, I can't remember any times over the past 20 years in our marriage that are not tainted and soiled with his bad choices and traces and handprints of his AP. I hope I can someday get past it all -- with God's help and the help of that heart. I really need and want a new life!