Hi Samuel - such a great post today. Really hits home the intense emotions both sides feel. I have been reading your blog for sometime now. I discovered my husband's affair about 6 months ago, and I tell you we both feel alone. The withdrawal from his AP has been really bad - he is depressed, feels lonely, and misses his one true love - but I am is best friend (or so he says) so he expect me to support him. He has laid all the blame on me for his affair. I have taken responsibility for what my part in our relationship problems, but I think that is unfair. I felt just as alone ad felt my needs were being unmet as well but I didn't cheat. How am I responsible for his actions?
I have some questions I hope you can help me with?
1) How did Samantha help you with your withdrawal?
2) Since your affair ended, have you ever seen your AP or spoken to her or was it cold turkey right away?
3) I don't think affair love is real - if it was, why hide it and lie about it. But my husband say it is real. While you were in your affair, it probably seemed real and for all I know, maybe they are. But would you agree that affair love is incomplete?
3) If he loves her so much, why doesn't he leave me to be with her? Why continue to put me through this pain? Aren't I worthy to have love and happiness too? Through your posts, it seemed that your affair made you so happy and you had little love for you wife - the same as my husband. What he would tell her about me during his affair, you would think he would leave right away. But once everything is out in the open, and you have a chance to be with your AP, why change your mind?
I apologize if these questions are hard to answer. Know that this blog has been a source of comfort for me.
Confused and Lonely
Hi Samuel - such a great post today. Really hits home the intense emotions both sides feel. I have been reading your blog for sometime now. I discovered my husband's affair about 6 months ago, and I tell you we both feel alone. The withdrawal from his AP has been really bad - he is depressed, feels lonely, and misses his one true love - but I am is best friend (or so he says) so he expect me to support him. He has laid all the blame on me for his affair. I have taken responsibility for what my part in our relationship problems, but I think that is unfair. I felt just as alone ad felt my needs were being unmet as well but I didn't cheat. How am I responsible for his actions?
I have some questions I hope you can help me with?
1) How did Samantha help you with your withdrawal?
2) Since your affair ended, have you ever seen your AP or spoken to her or was it cold turkey right away?
3) I don't think affair love is real - if it was, why hide it and lie about it. But my husband say it is real. While you were in your affair, it probably seemed real and for all I know, maybe they are. But would you agree that affair love is incomplete?
3) If he loves her so much, why doesn't he leave me to be with her? Why continue to put me through this pain? Aren't I worthy to have love and happiness too? Through your posts, it seemed that your affair made you so happy and you had little love for you wife - the same as my husband. What he would tell her about me during his affair, you would think he would leave right away. But once everything is out in the open, and you have a chance to be with your AP, why change your mind?
I apologize if these questions are hard to answer. Know that this blog has been a source of comfort for me.