After having read the many many accounts of unfaithfulness and betrayal, I am feeling like a square peg in a round hole, because I don't seem to find any examples that reflect our situation. The reason is that I was unfaifhful to my wife decades ago (one-night stand, no emotional attachment). The problem is that, at that stage, I have been harbouring hurt and anger towards her because of her unfaithfulness years before, 2 years after we were married, while I was away doing military service for my country. I only found out about it because a third party informed me, and after I was convicted about confessing about my own wrongdoing, our marriage seemed to slowly descend into a farce, with both parties still hurting. My wife seems to feel that the fact that I kept it from her for decades is the hurtful aspect, while I sometimes doubt whether I would ever have known about her infidelity, had I not been informed by someone else......in other words: how can I ever know whether she would have told me of her own accord? Her response to this question was: What sort of person would even ask that? I'm stuck.......we are stuck........please help! We have been married for 46 years
Both betrayed and unfaithful
After having read the many many accounts of unfaithfulness and betrayal, I am feeling like a square peg in a round hole, because I don't seem to find any examples that reflect our situation. The reason is that I was unfaifhful to my wife decades ago (one-night stand, no emotional attachment). The problem is that, at that stage, I have been harbouring hurt and anger towards her because of her unfaithfulness years before, 2 years after we were married, while I was away doing military service for my country. I only found out about it because a third party informed me, and after I was convicted about confessing about my own wrongdoing, our marriage seemed to slowly descend into a farce, with both parties still hurting. My wife seems to feel that the fact that I kept it from her for decades is the hurtful aspect, while I sometimes doubt whether I would ever have known about her infidelity, had I not been informed by someone else......in other words: how can I ever know whether she would have told me of her own accord? Her response to this question was: What sort of person would even ask that? I'm stuck.......we are stuck........please help! We have been married for 46 years