Funny. Sad, but funny. I was just asking/crying to my husband why her? Why her? And he, after saying, I was irrational, I was ungrounded, it was a vanity mirror, got frustrated with me. Even though these are the "right" answers, they are also unsatisfactory. Really what I seem to be asking is why if we were happy, if we have chemistry, if we are friends, why did you cheat? One of the reason he says he that she thought he was the smartest person in the world. She's 23, he's 39, she was a student, he in a power position and in university administration. Here is my questions:!!! Why do you need a stupid kid to think that you are smart? She's dumb that's why she thinks you're the smartest person in the world. It's not even that validating. I know, I know, I know...it's not about her. She was willing to accept fantasy terms (which again points to both her selfishness and stupidity)...there were no long term commitments, there were no dates, no lunches, no movie nights, no washing dishes and planting a garden, no real friends, no family, no reality.
But still!?!???????
Why her? Why the #%^* HER?!
Sometimes out of frustration my husband asks, do you wish it was someone else? No. No, I don't. When they were caught, to her credit, she cut off all contact and told her parents. She was still an absolutely bitch to me when I confronted her but she was clearly done with him and done with the fantasy. It could have been worst. But still?!?!!!! Why her? Why were you looking?? Why if you never had a porn problem, if you never cheated on a girl friend, if you saved yourself until marriage, why? Why? Why?
I know I need to accept that it's not about her. I know I do.
I know I need to accept that people to stupid harmful things to the people they love. I know that the why many just be unststisfying because I want my heart to understand something I may not be able too. Or because I look at it from my perspective. She's not the type of affair partner I would choose. I would want someone at least I could have a decent conversation with and not just some stupid groupie.
This just happened
Funny. Sad, but funny. I was just asking/crying to my husband why her? Why her? And he, after saying, I was irrational, I was ungrounded, it was a vanity mirror, got frustrated with me. Even though these are the "right" answers, they are also unsatisfactory. Really what I seem to be asking is why if we were happy, if we have chemistry, if we are friends, why did you cheat? One of the reason he says he that she thought he was the smartest person in the world. She's 23, he's 39, she was a student, he in a power position and in university administration. Here is my questions:!!! Why do you need a stupid kid to think that you are smart? She's dumb that's why she thinks you're the smartest person in the world. It's not even that validating. I know, I know, I know...it's not about her. She was willing to accept fantasy terms (which again points to both her selfishness and stupidity)...there were no long term commitments, there were no dates, no lunches, no movie nights, no washing dishes and planting a garden, no real friends, no family, no reality.
But still!?!???????
Why her? Why the #%^* HER?!
Sometimes out of frustration my husband asks, do you wish it was someone else? No. No, I don't. When they were caught, to her credit, she cut off all contact and told her parents. She was still an absolutely bitch to me when I confronted her but she was clearly done with him and done with the fantasy. It could have been worst. But still?!?!!!! Why her? Why were you looking?? Why if you never had a porn problem, if you never cheated on a girl friend, if you saved yourself until marriage, why? Why? Why?
I know I need to accept that it's not about her. I know I do.
I know I need to accept that people to stupid harmful things to the people they love. I know that the why many just be unststisfying because I want my heart to understand something I may not be able too. Or because I look at it from my perspective. She's not the type of affair partner I would choose. I would want someone at least I could have a decent conversation with and not just some stupid groupie.
I know. I know. I know. My heart just doesn't.
It is a process.