I loved the honesty and truth behind this post. As you so aptly state, life goes on in the midst of betrayal and recovery and one of the most devastating aspects of this is that we are often suffering alone. Despite being the betrayed, the shame and guilt that this has happened have many of us protecting this secret while suffering something akin to death. But at least a death would garner the sympathy and support from your family and friends. I have continued to "protect" my UH by saying nothing to no one keeping his reputation untainted while i takes the hits for ways in which the trauma bleeds into my life. The forgetfulness, the inability to deal with the little crisis's, the responsibilities of parenting that has me in tears because i can't cope with yet another mental task, the list goes on.
What i don't know yet is what is the bigger disservice to my children? The fact that i suffer in silence and am a shell of myself, or i've stayed and pretended for almost 3 years, hoping to preserve the innocence of their childhood just a little bit longer....
I loved the honesty and truth
I loved the honesty and truth behind this post. As you so aptly state, life goes on in the midst of betrayal and recovery and one of the most devastating aspects of this is that we are often suffering alone. Despite being the betrayed, the shame and guilt that this has happened have many of us protecting this secret while suffering something akin to death. But at least a death would garner the sympathy and support from your family and friends. I have continued to "protect" my UH by saying nothing to no one keeping his reputation untainted while i takes the hits for ways in which the trauma bleeds into my life. The forgetfulness, the inability to deal with the little crisis's, the responsibilities of parenting that has me in tears because i can't cope with yet another mental task, the list goes on.
What i don't know yet is what is the bigger disservice to my children? The fact that i suffer in silence and am a shell of myself, or i've stayed and pretended for almost 3 years, hoping to preserve the innocence of their childhood just a little bit longer....