Karen, I'm so sorry you're going through such torment.
This is NOT your fault and you are NOT doing anything wrong. How did I "let go and come out from behind the huge wall"? It would not have happened if my husband gave me the drip feed method. It would not have happened if he continued to betray after d-day. It would not have happened if he wasn't willing to humble himself and lay bare his shame. My healing has been possible because he has been willing to be a new man. Does he have more work to do? Absolutely! There are changes that I fear he may never make. He still hides his feelings. Read my next blog post (out in a couple of weeks) and you'll see that we still struggle. But I have no doubt that I know everything I need to about his past affairs. I have no doubt that he's been faithful since eleven days after d-day when he returned home and we committed to recovery. When asked he's been brutally honest. If I had trickle truth for four years I would not be writing a blog about our recovery. I would be learning to live a much different life than I have now.
You deserve better. You deserve truth. You deserve full disclosure. You deserve a life that is honorable, fulfilling and full of integrity and joy.
Do not settle for second best. I used to. No more. Demand respect and integrity. I do.
You are NOT doing anything wrong
Karen, I'm so sorry you're going through such torment.
This is NOT your fault and you are NOT doing anything wrong. How did I "let go and come out from behind the huge wall"? It would not have happened if my husband gave me the drip feed method. It would not have happened if he continued to betray after d-day. It would not have happened if he wasn't willing to humble himself and lay bare his shame. My healing has been possible because he has been willing to be a new man. Does he have more work to do? Absolutely! There are changes that I fear he may never make. He still hides his feelings. Read my next blog post (out in a couple of weeks) and you'll see that we still struggle. But I have no doubt that I know everything I need to about his past affairs. I have no doubt that he's been faithful since eleven days after d-day when he returned home and we committed to recovery. When asked he's been brutally honest. If I had trickle truth for four years I would not be writing a blog about our recovery. I would be learning to live a much different life than I have now.
You deserve better. You deserve truth. You deserve full disclosure. You deserve a life that is honorable, fulfilling and full of integrity and joy.
Do not settle for second best. I used to. No more. Demand respect and integrity. I do.
Good luck. My thoughts are with you.