can't sit and wait forever...

hi heartbroken, i would say you can't sit and wait forever.  you are going to have to be the one to decide the timeline that works for you.  if you're going to wait for him to decide, you're giving him a lot of power in the relationship and the situation and in my opinion, that's not healthy or productive right now.  if you are his second choice, something is wrong and it will permeate the entire marriage even if he does come home.  i would work on healing you and work on your own security and healing.  i'm concerned for you though for sure.