Hi. I’m Karen Baker supervised by Rick Reynolds. In this video, I'll lead you through a short, guided meditation on compassion. Opening our hearts and practicing self-compassion and compassion for others can help us accept and give space to our anxieties.
Sometimes, focused and kind attention is all we need to feel more at peace and ease. Experiencing betrayal is a deeply traumatic experience, and your whole being becomes incredibly dysregulated at a moment's notice. Compassion for others and even for ourselves might seem impossible right now. And, of course, it does.
But I encourage you to follow along, take what works for you, and leave what doesn't. And notice without...
If you've ever heard your betrayed mate say, "I would like to trust you again, but I just can't." This is for you.
If you are the wayward spouse and are trying to figure out what it means to become a safe person to repair the damage done by your infidelity, this is for you too.
Wayward spouse, while trying to do everything you can to aid the recovery, have you ever taken the stance or expressed the attitude of, "I'm doing everything I can." With a sigh of frustration, have you ever said something like, "I am taking all the classes and working so hard." Other times, you might have thought, "This whole process is driving me crazy. I can't take these questions anymore," as you shake your head and wonder why your injured spouse may say...
I’m Karen Baker, a graduate counseling intern for Crossroad Counseling Associate, supervised by Rick Reynolds.
In this video, I'll lead you through a short, guided meditation on compassion specifically for anxiety. Opening our hearts by practicing self-compassion and compassion for others can help us accept and give space to our own anxieties. In this meditation, we will extend compassion to a loved one. Let me preface this and say that it can be anyone. It doesn't have to be your partner. It could even be a younger version of yourself.
Experiencing betrayal is deeply traumatic. Your entire being and whole self can become dysregulated at any moment's notice, and...
Hello. I am Candace. Should you stay, or should you go post D-Day? I'll tell you who tends to have the instant answer to that question- everyone who has never been sucker punched by infidelity firsthand. Whether you are the betrayed or the wayward partner, we know that decision is not as easy as people make it out to be.
There are so many things to consider. I want to begin this post by acknowledging that there are a significant number of betrayed spouses out there who are never given a chance to answer that question because that choice was made for them by their partner. If that happened to you, please know you are not alone. For those of us who find ourselves looking for the “sign” to stay or go,...
Gaslighting coupled with infidelity is extremely toxic.
When talking about gaslighting or infidelity, each on its own can devastate the safety and trust of any relationship. But together, they form an especially dangerous mix. Understanding their dynamics and learning how to navigate the impact can be the first step in healing and preventing even further harm.
Designed specifically for wayward spouses, this 17-week online course is a supportive, nonjudgmental environment for you to heal and develop empathy. Over the years, this course has helped thousands of people find hope, set healthy boundaries and move toward extraordinary lives.
The term gaslighting originated from a 1944 film called...
My name is Karen Baker, and I'm the graduate counseling intern at Crossroad Counseling and Associates, where I am supervised by Rick Reynolds.
In this video, I will lead you through a short, guided meditation. Experiencing a betrayal is a profoundly traumatic experience. Your whole self can become completely dysregulated and flooded at a moment's notice. If you can't follow along now, bookmark this video to listen to at a later time when you need help coming back to the present moment and feeling more grounded.
I invite you to take a moment to pause this video and adjust your space.
Find a comfortable seated position in which you can relax and...
One of the hardest lessons to grasp in the journey towards healing from betrayal is realizing your inability to control the path your wayward mate takes. This is particularly counterintuitive for those of us who have dedicated our lives to growing relationships and a family. We have invested our time and energy in paving the way for our loved ones to succeed and be happy. We have cared as deeply for our partner and family as we have for ourselves. Our life has revolved around their safety and growth.
We must be careful not to burn out or overextend ourselves in the service of others and to take good care of ourselves. This is a reality we may not like. However, denial of that reality will not change it, no matter how ardently we wish things to be different. We need to respect our limits to remain healthy. The desire to overextend, however, is very normal when those we love are struggling.
This truth suggests the brilliant work of Dr. Robert Weiss in his seminal book, Prodependence. As he defines it:
Hello. My name is Laurie Bryson and one of the roles I have at Affair Recovery is that I get to be part of the three-day EMS Weekend intensives that we offer both in person and virtually.
One of the most misunderstood concepts in the journey of recovering from infidelity is the concept of abuse.
Today, I'd like to help shed some light on this concept in a way that can help you navigate what you're dealing with in your relationship.
For those of us who have made it through to the other side of recovery, I can assure you that none of us want to go back to the first weeks and months after the discovery of an affair or some other type of infidelity. The "wild, wild West" barely begins to describe how primitive and intense...
To Tell or Not to Tell…Our Friends and Family
People struggle with the decision of whether to tell friends and family and, particularly their children, about the infidelity that occurred in their marriage. For some, the ugly truth comes out before they consider it. Sometimes, kids are collateral damage in the ensuing chaos, overhearing or directly witnessing the arguments and drama by parents overwhelmed with their emotions.
I’ve heard both sides of this dilemma declare with certainty that their perspective is the only right choice for one reason or another, but I’ve also heard people regret how they handled it and wish they could go back and do it differently. Some feel it is inherently wrong and deceptive to keep a secret like this within a family, and the truth should be shared no matter what, while others argue there are no circumstances in which children should ever learn of their parent’s betrayal, even as adults.
In my time spent on the Affair Recovery forums, I have heard from many people whose children learned of the infidelity amid the discovery alongside the betrayed...
Freedom begins in a community of “me too” people, people committed to helping you carry your burden. ~ Sheila Walsh
When a person experiences a loss or tragedy, those around them often offer support differently. People say things like, “Let me know if you need anything,” or “I’m here for you.” This can be genuine and well-meaning, but to the person amid crisis or grief, they’re not especially helpful. That is passive support, meaning if the grieving person comes to me and asks for something specific, I will provide it.
Active support looks like this: “I have two hours free on Tuesday evening. I’d like to bring you dinner and babysit your kids. Would that be helpful?”
Both offers are genuine and well meaning. One is more helpful to a person who is overwhelmed and in crisis.
Caring people often don’t know how to support a person in crisis. We don’t know what is helpful, so we extend this open-ended invitation for that person to identify their needs and then reach out and...
What Type of Affair Was It?
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