it's totally normal so know that my friend. you'll go through a detox period and that's ok and normal and necessary for sure. i would do what you can to not dwell on those feelings at all, but to shift your focus and think on other things as soon as you can. you may need a new hobby to be honest. you may need to take up something as an excuse like running, hiking, wood working, who knows. but something to occupy your mind. also, i would suggest you process these feelings with someone besides your wife. i would try hope for healing on our site: https://www.affairrecovery.com/product/hope-for-healing or any support group of other safe men. to do it with your wife is too painful for her. i would make sure you have a place to process them, but also a way to get outside of your mind as your mind will try and swallow you up and you don't want that my friend. you can't necessarily prevent the thoughts like birds from flying over your head, but you can prevent those thoughts/birds from planting a nest in your head/brain. an old quote that i tell men all the time.
great questions....
it's totally normal so know that my friend. you'll go through a detox period and that's ok and normal and necessary for sure. i would do what you can to not dwell on those feelings at all, but to shift your focus and think on other things as soon as you can. you may need a new hobby to be honest. you may need to take up something as an excuse like running, hiking, wood working, who knows. but something to occupy your mind. also, i would suggest you process these feelings with someone besides your wife. i would try hope for healing on our site: https://www.affairrecovery.com/product/hope-for-healing or any support group of other safe men. to do it with your wife is too painful for her. i would make sure you have a place to process them, but also a way to get outside of your mind as your mind will try and swallow you up and you don't want that my friend. you can't necessarily prevent the thoughts like birds from flying over your head, but you can prevent those thoughts/birds from planting a nest in your head/brain. an old quote that i tell men all the time.