I feel the same

I feel the same as you, even two years later. I have told my straying husband multiple times that he has left me with terrible choices: Stay with him knowing that he didn't always value me, or breaking up the family. I opted to keep the family together because I am afraid of the effects of divorce on our middle-school kids. It's not easy, and I constantly have to remind myself that I'm doing this for the kids, not for my own peace of mind. It's not fair, but I just tell myself that it is what it is. Sad, I know. If there's any silver lining, I don't think my husband will ever stray again. He has seen how destructive his choices have been to me and indirectly to our family. I've also told him that if my sixth sense that discovered his affair ever goes off again, I will leave because I can not bear to put myself through this again. This also helps me maintain my resolve. I wish you strength.