Kimmi, I feel the same. After 15 months post D-day, Harboring Hope, and EMSW, I STILL don't feel that he understands the damage that he has done. He even can't understand why he and his AP can't still be friends!!!! After all, they have worked together for almost 25 years and she "listens" to him. Everytime I look at him, I see her. She is always on the date with us or the dinner with us....I can't look at him without seeing her - the proverbial "elephant in the room -- but on the date". After his two emotional affairs with her, I fear a third one, and when I ask questions, I get verbal and sometimes (although rarely) even physical abuse.I have never gotten a face to face true apology, he gets mad and verbally abusive when we talk about it over 30 minutes, and i'm just getting weary of it all. I want peace in my life. I want her out of our marriage....if there is any marriage left to save. I, too, am having trouble with reconnection...I'm frightened of giving up my heart again and trusting and then having him go back to her yet again. He obviously has a strong connection to this woman to go back to her a second time. A third time is a real possibility. So I cannot allow myself to emotionally reconnect either. Too risky. So sad that after being high school sweethearts and being married almost 36 years , it has now come to this. Until I see some kind of real remorse, a real apology face to face instead of texting it to me, and real actions that indicate he is through with her for life and wants ME, then there will be no cracking that 6 inch thick cement wall that I erected around my heart. It's going to take a long time to break down that wall...if ever.
I feel the same
Kimmi, I feel the same. After 15 months post D-day, Harboring Hope, and EMSW, I STILL don't feel that he understands the damage that he has done. He even can't understand why he and his AP can't still be friends!!!! After all, they have worked together for almost 25 years and she "listens" to him. Everytime I look at him, I see her. She is always on the date with us or the dinner with us....I can't look at him without seeing her - the proverbial "elephant in the room -- but on the date". After his two emotional affairs with her, I fear a third one, and when I ask questions, I get verbal and sometimes (although rarely) even physical abuse.I have never gotten a face to face true apology, he gets mad and verbally abusive when we talk about it over 30 minutes, and i'm just getting weary of it all. I want peace in my life. I want her out of our marriage....if there is any marriage left to save. I, too, am having trouble with reconnection...I'm frightened of giving up my heart again and trusting and then having him go back to her yet again. He obviously has a strong connection to this woman to go back to her a second time. A third time is a real possibility. So I cannot allow myself to emotionally reconnect either. Too risky. So sad that after being high school sweethearts and being married almost 36 years , it has now come to this. Until I see some kind of real remorse, a real apology face to face instead of texting it to me, and real actions that indicate he is through with her for life and wants ME, then there will be no cracking that 6 inch thick cement wall that I erected around my heart. It's going to take a long time to break down that wall...if ever.