It has been 6 weeks since D-Day. My wife's affair blindsided me completely. This posting captures so much of what I'm feeling. In spite of the fact that she seemingly desperately wants to work things out, I'm finding it nearly impossible to forgive, to move on. To read that others see that forgiving and staying means sacrificing my dreams, my dignity, my rights, and my pride, This line is so true and so crushing: " Instead of being proud of what he and Sandra had built, he now felt he’d been played the fool and taken advantage of." The affair robbed me of something so very special. I was so proud of my wife. I was so proud of our relationship. I would take quiet satisfaction from knowing how strong we were and how good she was to me. Now all that is gone. And I'm left with the pain and shame I live with every day.
This part was just spot on, too: "The currencies used by the betrayed spouse to pay off the debt incurred by their mate’s betrayal are pride, ego, and suffering...It costs them their just due when they choose to forgo justice for the sake of the relationship. It costs them their sanity because they don’t control the painful thoughts invading their mind. Their present-day reality is constantly interrupted with painful memories of the past."
I really don't see a way out of this. I feel light years from the happiness I believed we shared and any potential for happiness in the future.
Thank you so very much for writing this
It has been 6 weeks since D-Day. My wife's affair blindsided me completely. This posting captures so much of what I'm feeling. In spite of the fact that she seemingly desperately wants to work things out, I'm finding it nearly impossible to forgive, to move on. To read that others see that forgiving and staying means sacrificing my dreams, my dignity, my rights, and my pride, This line is so true and so crushing: " Instead of being proud of what he and Sandra had built, he now felt he’d been played the fool and taken advantage of." The affair robbed me of something so very special. I was so proud of my wife. I was so proud of our relationship. I would take quiet satisfaction from knowing how strong we were and how good she was to me. Now all that is gone. And I'm left with the pain and shame I live with every day.
This part was just spot on, too: "The currencies used by the betrayed spouse to pay off the debt incurred by their mate’s betrayal are pride, ego, and suffering...It costs them their just due when they choose to forgo justice for the sake of the relationship. It costs them their sanity because they don’t control the painful thoughts invading their mind. Their present-day reality is constantly interrupted with painful memories of the past."
I really don't see a way out of this. I feel light years from the happiness I believed we shared and any potential for happiness in the future.