Thank you, Elizabeth

Your perspective feels very relevant in my situation. In the end, I was the emotionally & physically betrayed spouse.
I think a series of personal events (job layoffs & family deaths), as well as my negative attitude toward life caused me to no longer be the confident man she fell in love with. Because of that, it was easy for another perceived successful man to sweep her off her feet.

Having come from a broken home & previous failed marriage, I had not learned to communicate as effectively & affectionately as I should. During disagreements, it either came out whiny, angry or I just shut down (I became apathetic for the sake of non-confrontation). She is a very strong willed, independent (and prideful) woman, that was attractive. She nagged, pleaded, yelled and I just went deeper into my depression. I am responsible for my lack of leadership (spiritual, financial and emotional) as a husband.
Unfortunately, we both became resentful and angry at the others lack of communication. She, during the marriage (leading to an emotional affair & filing divorce) and me after discovery. It seems, in part, she was attracted to the "confident & successful married man" she didn't have. Much of his current success is based on her dedication, organization and hard work and ironically, he's now getting a divorce.
Time will tell how he continues to interacts with our children. As our kids grow and see the situation, I wonder what distrust they will feel about relationships?