Affair Recovery

I do not feel as if you missed the mark. I think that when we are wounded we often interpret things in a less than objective fashion. Take the baby analogy. I know that upon discovery of my husbands affairs and for many months afterward I was helpless like an infant and my ability to think of new ways to respond and problem solve were stifled. I have been reading your articles for over a year and have always felt them to be supportive of recovery for both spouses. However, true recovery requires both parties to take a hard look at themselves, their responses and behaviors, and thinking patterns that might adversely impact their ability to be in relationship with God, others, and themselves. That by no means absolves the betrayer for the responsibility of their choices and I have never taken your writings to indicate that betrayed spouses are responsible for the affairs of their mates. However, my grandmother told us as children that " if we keep doing what we're doing we will keep getting what we've got" and that definitely rings true with recovering from the devastation of an affair for both spouses. You wrote an article about grief a couple of weeks ago that I felt was very poignant and spot on to where I am right now. Unfortunately, it appears that some of the feedback that you received made you change course. I ask that you please keep course with what is on your heart to write about. There are many of us who read the articles very quietly and are in need of the information and insight that you are providing.