I was the unfaithful - and I'm truly crushed and remorseful about it. Full disclosure occurred last week and there are days where she genuinely seems and states she wants to stay. And then there are days she refers to her new Bumble account and talks about getting away from me and experiencing "new people" to see if I'm what she really wants. The thing is, she's a very confident woman - this has only shaken her confidence in me, but not in her as a woman. So I'm battling these days of what appears to be great improvement, followed by the next morning when she wants nothing to do with me. I've begun a genuine process to change and with Christs' help it will last. We watched an AR video today (we do share these videos with one another and they seem to help, but triggers come and the crash begins anew), about "Barriers to Building Trust" and I was taking notes. Thankfully (not to give myself too much credit, but...) I was already doing 90% of those things and she realized it, but within an hour she's telling me I have to compete for the chance to win her back (implying compete with other, new men). Earlier in the day we talked about her also seeking counseling to help her process the range of emotions (I'm already attending counseling), and she came round to understanding why - but later after watching an AR video on having a process in place to help, she's resistant and "doesn't want me to lead it". I get that, I want her to go b/c she wants to go....but then it gets back to the competing for her [with other men]. She's truly a gorgeous woman - she walks into a club and all the guys are looking. It won't be hard for her.....And this is killing me, just killing me.
Dealing with Roller Coaster emotions from the Betrayed
I was the unfaithful - and I'm truly crushed and remorseful about it. Full disclosure occurred last week and there are days where she genuinely seems and states she wants to stay. And then there are days she refers to her new Bumble account and talks about getting away from me and experiencing "new people" to see if I'm what she really wants. The thing is, she's a very confident woman - this has only shaken her confidence in me, but not in her as a woman. So I'm battling these days of what appears to be great improvement, followed by the next morning when she wants nothing to do with me. I've begun a genuine process to change and with Christs' help it will last. We watched an AR video today (we do share these videos with one another and they seem to help, but triggers come and the crash begins anew), about "Barriers to Building Trust" and I was taking notes. Thankfully (not to give myself too much credit, but...) I was already doing 90% of those things and she realized it, but within an hour she's telling me I have to compete for the chance to win her back (implying compete with other, new men). Earlier in the day we talked about her also seeking counseling to help her process the range of emotions (I'm already attending counseling), and she came round to understanding why - but later after watching an AR video on having a process in place to help, she's resistant and "doesn't want me to lead it". I get that, I want her to go b/c she wants to go....but then it gets back to the competing for her [with other men]. She's truly a gorgeous woman - she walks into a club and all the guys are looking. It won't be hard for her.....And this is killing me, just killing me.